Cancer
by cue.dramatic.gasp
Summary: She was delicate and fragile; a piece of glass that was already shattered. He promised to be there, to fix her, but how can you fix something that's already broken? Some people just can't be glued together.
1. Meeting The Gang

* * *

**cancer  
**

**chapter one  
**_meeting the gang_

* * *

Teary-eyed, I made my way out of the train, suitcase limp in hand. My hands were trembling slightly, my skin was two shades paler, and my usually bright eyes were swollen and red from crying through the entire journey. My lips were pressed together as my eyes skimmed through the masses of people. My eyes finally landed on him. He was striding towards me, a powerful nature visible, compared to all the other people around me. Darrel Curtis.

His sepia colored locks were greased backwards, a look that only made him fiercer. His ripped muscles showed faintly through his cheap, black t-shirt, and old, worn jeans covered his legs. His eyes were on me, and I met his gaze slowly, unsure of what to do.

When he approached me, Darry immediately embraced me. "Come here, _you,_" he whispered softly in my ear. All I could do was hold back a sob as I wrapped my thin arms around his bulky waist. "I missed you, Danielle." His voice was full of heartfelt sincerity—something I hadn't heard in a while.

"I missed you, Uncle Darrel." Even though Darrel was my cousin, I had always thought of him as a father-figure, even when we were younger. I adopted the name 'Uncle' instead.

Darry rubbed my back lovingly, as a mother would do to its newborn. He traced imaginary circles on my spine, and then patted my back. "I heard about what happened… with your father." He actually seemed to be a bit nervous when he spoke.

"Yeah…" I tried to sound as if though I was indifferent, but on the inside, I was breaking.

"Let's go," he said quickly, yet kindly, as he entwined his fingers with mine. It brought a sense of comfort and warmth. He picked up my suitcase with his other hand, and raised his eyebrow. "What is in here? Bricks?"

I weakly smiled at his effort of a joke, and then mumbled embarrassedly, "Books."

"Books?" Darrel looked surprised as he stopped walking to stare at me. "Do you mean books and clothing, or all books?"

I felt my cheeks heating up right there. It had seemed like a right idea when I done it, but now it seemed stupid. "All books."

He resumed his walk, though his paces were so long I almost had to run to keep up. "Care to explain why?" He didn't seem angry or annoyed, just curious.

"I thought the clothes brought back too many memories," I said quietly. "And from what I remember, Ponyboy was always the smallest when I was visited, so I thought I could borrow his clothes."

Darry nodded, "Well lucky for you, Ponyboy's a bit of a book-maniac, so you probably could do a trade. Books for clothes." He chuckled, a deep sound. "That boy wouldn't stop reading if his life depended on it."

Soon we reached Darrel's old pick-up, certainly not a luxurious car, but it was perfect in the sense. He loaded my suitcase, and unlocked the doors, and I got into the passenger seat. Darry started to drive, and kept his eyes firmly planted on the road, "So… about the doctors?"

I knew he would be asking, but I didn't think it would be so early. "Yeah… they just did a diagnosis and sent me the results a couple days before the accident. I've got leukemia."

Darry sucked in a harsh breath, the strain in his jaw noticeable as his tightened his grip on the steering wheel. "Damn, babycakes, so they have you on treatment?"

I shook my head sadly. "Apparently I'm lucky enough to be living with you, Dar. Everything my parents had gone down the drain—which wasn't much—so there's no money for medical units."

"God, Dan, that's horrible," Darry said softly, and I tried not to make it known that I was annoyed with the sympathy and pity so obviously laden in his eyes.

I shrugged, keeping my eyes on the passing blur of trees. I felt the car stop and Darry readily announce, "We're here." I peered out of the window to see a run-down, one story house. It was small and included an unmanageable lawn, but it felt more like a home to me than anything.

"Thanks Darry," I said sincerely, keeping my eyes on the dashboard. "You don't know how much I appreciate you doing this for me. I just want you to know it's not an obligation or anything—"

"Danielle," Darry interrupted quickly, "Just stop talking."  
I laughed, a soft sound that echoed through the car. He smiled at me, obviously pleased he had succeeded in keeping me in a better mood. I met Darry at the other side and followed him as he walked up to the door. He didn't even take out a key or knock, simply pushing the door open. His voice was loud, "Guys! I'm home."

Two vaguely familiar boys walked out of a room, supposedly the kitchen, and stared at me quizzically. One was mildly attractive, with dark, greasy burnt umber hair and matching, dark eyes. I could tell that it was Ponyboy, just from the confused twist of his lips.

The other—Sodapop—was extremely attractive, with brown-black hair that was barely greased and a lean, muscled body.

I hadn't seen either of those boys in ten years, and I swallowed as they analyzed me.

"Guys," Darry said quietly, "this is Danielle Logans. Remember?"

Ponyboy only nodded, and I assumed he was quiet. Sodapop grinned, "Well you certainly changed since the last time I saw you." His voice was chirpy, excited. I couldn't help but smile as well.

"Why are you here?" Ponyboy asked, and a silence overwhelmed us. Darrel obviously hadn't told them about the incident, so I decided not to tell as well.

"I'll explain later," Darrel said. I realized my lip was trembling.

Darry led me into the kitchen, his hand still clutching my small suitcase. "Ponyboy, _man,_ you're going to love Danny. Her entire suitcase is full of books."

I saw something change in Ponyboy's eyes as he glanced at me, "Really?"

"Yeah," I said quietly, avoiding his gaze for reasons unknown to me. "I… I just really like books, is all."

Sodapop laughed. "Guess it runs in the family. So, how old are you, Miss Danielle?"

"Sixteen," I mumbled, memorizing the fine details of the messy kitchen. It was small yet comfortable, but felt like it wasn't sufficient for three grown boys.

"I am too!" Sodapop said over excitedly, grinning like a hyena. "This is great … but Pony's only 14…"

"Hey…" Ponyboy muttered dejectedly, staring at the ground.

"Aw, it's okay," Sodapop said sweetly, ruffling Ponyboy's dark hair affectionately, "You know I love you."

Ponyboy smiled hesitantly, and then raised his dark eyes to meet my own. An awkward silence began, but Darrel quickly changed that. "So, Dan, you want some chocolate cake or something? You look starved."

"No thanks Darry," I answered softly, brushing the dark locks away from my face.

The only sounds heard was the rattling of the utensils as Darry started to wash the dishes, Sodapop and Ponyboy looking at me silently. The door suddenly burst open, causing my head to snap in that direction. A round of teenage boys with the exception of one girl walked into the house—loud, smirking, and somewhat crazy. I watched quietly as the house erupted into laughter, chit-chat, and the dull play of the television.

"Come on, Danny," Sodapop said, grabbing my wrist slightly. He looked down in shock, and swallowed as he saw the blue veins of my thin arm. "I'll introduce you to the gang." I said nothing as he pulled me forward, causing the loud ruckus to stop for a moment. "Guys, this is my cousin, Danielle, who's going to be staying with us for a while."

"Hey!" It was a loud chirp, coming from the guy in the corner. He was holding a beer bottle in one hand, his lanky figure covered by a red, Mickey Mouse t-shirt. His sideburns made him look slightly rough, yet playful. His hair was greased backwards and his grin was lopsided. "You're pretty cute Danielle," he said with a mischievous smirk, glancing at the reddening Sodapop.

I didn't even smile as I stared at him, only observing him. Still impassive, the guy smirked goofily at me in response. I held back a disgusted cringe. "I'm Two-Bit, by the way," he said, getting up, stumbling quite a bit. "The short one over there,"—he pointed to a tanned teenager sitting in the opposite corner—"is Johnny. The one all the way over there,"—he then drew his finger to an older looking teenager with a rough, angular face and a girl hanging on his arm—"is Dally and his girl Sylvia. The hooligan over there"—he lastly pointed to a boy in a dirty, white wife-beater and an arrangement of tattoos on his muscular arm—"is Steve."

I felt myself getting nervous. I wasn't good with people, and I certainly didn't feel well enough to talk to another four guys. I sat down on the couch next to Johnny, since it was the only seat available. I felt my body tense as Sylvia connected her eyes with me, looking me up and down. She grimaced then, "Why are you here anyway?" Her luxurious blonde hair was pin straight as it hung over her shoulders, making her look incredibly attractive. She was wearing a scandalously short miniskirt and probably Dally's leather jacket.

"Sylvia," Darry warned, surprising me, as he walked into the room. I didn't hear him come in. He offered another piece of chocolate cake to me, which I politely refused. "She's staying with us for a while… is that a problem?"

"Whatever," she muttered, obviously afraid of Darrel. I would have been too; the muscles were nearly bulging out of his thin t-shirt. Sylvia turned back to Dallas, smiling at him seductively, before planting a small kiss on his jaw. She continued doing these ministrations, and I looked away from the act, finally catching eyes with the silent Dally. He was looking at me, almost questionably, a thoughtful expression on his handsome features.

I glanced away from him, perturbed, and focused on Johnny. He was quiet, like Ponyboy. His features were Spanish, I noted, as my eyes trailed over the dark black hair and the tanned skin. Some sort of exotic background. His eyes were a charcoal black with distinguishable swirls of brown. But then my breath caught, as something caught my attention. It was a long, startling scar that ran from the side of his sideburn to the very tip of his jaw.

It made me swallow as my fingers automatically touched his jaw, tracing the scar. He flinched almost immediately, his eyes blinking to meet mine, and I pulled away, feeling my fingers burn. "S-Sorry," I muttered embarrassedly, feeling tears rise in my eyes. "There was just a scar…" I trailed off, realizing the attention of the room was on me.

Johnny was startled, no doubt about it. He swallowed, and then whispered, "Yeah… my parents – they…"

I nodded, understanding. I let my fingers drop to my lap, whispering only so he could hear, "Me too."

Surprise, shock, and some sort of warmth flashed over his face. To prove my point, I raised the hem of my sleeve to reveal a long scar that ran nine inches long. It was fading, but the memory itself was permanently engraved in my head. I didn't bother to say anything else, my thin fingers dropping back to confines of my lap.

Darry rescued me. He pulled me up from the couch, ignoring the curious stares of the gang. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I lied easily, blinking away the tears. "Just shocked."

"You want to go to sleep? You look tired." He was concerned.

I nodded, and he sat me back on the couch, gently pulling my head against his chest. Had he heard? He probably had. He ran his fingers through my hair, murmuring unknown words to me while he hugged me lovingly.

I closed my eyes, and finally drifted off into a peaceful slumber.


	2. Not So Nice Nightmares

* * *

**cancer**

**chapter two**_  
not so nice nightmares_

* * *

_The sheer pain of being thrown into the wall was only felt now, as I was forcedly handled by him. I had just walked into the home, but I had been expecting it. He could make the smallest detail the biggest deal. "Why the hell are you late?" he growled angrily, his intoxicated, sullen eyes trained on me. It made goose-bumps arise on my arms. It smelt like booze and cigarettes, a smell that was so familiar yet so horrible at the same time. _

_"I'm sorry," I whispered, apologizing, though I knew I had done nothing wrong. I had give up a long time ago. "I lost track of the time… I was with Evan and I didn't think that—"_

_"That's your problem," he said, slapping me, making my soft cheek turn red. "You don't think. You're just some stupid slut, just like your mother. That's probably why you come home so late everyday… because you're fooling around with Evan." _

_I felt frozen, my eyes stinging with tears. Every comment he threw at me hurt so much, and I knew that even though he was drunk, it still didn't matter. "I'm not a whore," I said quietly, feeling my lips trembling. "I'm not." _

_He was comparing me to my mother—my cheating whore of a mother. He chuckled dryly, tracing my face with a stubby finger, "Oh yes you are. And you know you are." With that, he roughly pushed me again, making my arched back collide with the wall again. Shots of pain burst from my sides, making me gasp harshly for relief. "You're just like your damn mother!" He seemed to have that affect on me, knowing exactly where to pierce me with comments. I breathed in, still panting and writhing. _

_"Got that, bitch?" He took a broken piece of glass, lamely sitting on the floor and pulled my thin arm so that I was standing up, "You got that?" He pronounced each word slowly and evilly, making my eyes widen. Letting the ragged tip of the glass brush over my delicate skin, I closed my eyes in fear. I felt the glass break through my skin, the pain unbearable as I started to cry. I was wailing, screaming, begging for him to stop as he dragged the tip—once fully placed in my skin—up my arm. _

_It was the worst kind of pain imaginable. _

_Once he was finished, he threw the bloody piece of glass on the floor, letting it clash into another hundreds of pieces. He then glanced at me, sinking to the ground, crying in agony, and then rolled his eyes. "You better be here when I come back." With that, he walked out of the house, letting the door slam. _

_My father._

* * *

As my eyes snapped open, I felt the disgustingly crude feel of sweat, tears, and saliva dripping against my face and neck. I breathed in, still feeling like the dream was incredibly real. It was so hot and my head was pounding with an unexplainable fury—I couldn't even remember where I was for a moment. Then yesterday's events flashed in my mind and I glanced around in the darkness. I silenced my breathing to hear another person's breaths, and I realized Darry had fell asleep next to me. A multicolored sheet was draped over my legs, and I shrugged it off, realizing that was the cause of the heat. It was the middle of July.

My movement made Darry stir as he quietly mumbled, "Danny, are you alright?"

I grunted, a noise of approval, but Darry sat up anyway. His hair was mussed up and his eyes were slightly red, but as those sleepy eyes met mine, his pupils dilated. He blindly searched for the lamp, nearly knocking it off the table, before letting the dim lights flicker on. His eyes got a better view of me, which I was sure wasn't too pretty, and he sighed. "Are you sure?"

"Not really," I murmured, wiping my face with the back of my arm. My scar stung with pain, and I reflexively clutched it, breathing in. My icy blue eyes filled with tears as I heard my voice crack, "I really don't think I'm capable of sleeping alone."

Darry's face immediately softened. "Come on." He let the sheets drop to the ground as he pulled me up, leading me around the couches and to another room. It was very small, with a desk and a twin-sized bed, but was strangely comforting. I saw two lumps on the bed, and smiled weakly.

"Ponyboy… Pony, damn it, wake up!" Darry said, shaking one of the lumps.

Ponyboy sat up slowly, mumbling unintelligently, as he was still dazed. His eyes cleared as he spotted me by his doorway, "What happened? Danielle, are you okay?"

Sodapop was still sleeping soundly, nearly hanging off the bed itself, his hand dropping from the side. I smiled softly, almost fondly at that, but stopped when my cheeks started to pain. Darry answered for me, "She's alright. She's just – going to sleep with you guys from now on, alright?"

"There isn't much space," Ponyboy replied unsurely, but his eyes took in my bedraggled state, and sighed. "But it's fine. Come on in." He patted the bed, moving a little more to the side, so that there was a small amount of space in the middle.

Darry left the room, not before patting my back, and turned off the lights. The clock brightly read: 4.02. I held in a sigh, and climbed onto the bed, immediately being sandwiched between Ponyboy and Sodapop. Soda grumbled slightly, annoyed at being disturbed, and turned so that his breath was irritatingly on my neck. He then wrapped a hand around my waist, hugging me like a teddy-bear.

"He thinks it's me," Ponyboy informed me, smiling lightly.

"Sodapop's a heavy sleeper?" I asked, eyeing the sleeping bundle next to me, clutching onto me for dear life.

"Yeah, it's good though," he said softly, "Soda works too much." The soft light of the moon reflected against his hair as he asked, "So, you're our cousin?"

I nodded, turning to face the ceiling. "It's been a while since I've seen you guys – nearly ten years. I barely recognized you both."

"Wow." He was silent for a moment, before he rubbed his neck and pressed his cheek against the pillow, "So I was just wondering what you and Johnny were talking about before?" I immediately cringed, making him hastily pick at his words, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

I felt him crawling back into his shell, so I shook my head hurriedly. "No, no, I'll tell you." He met my eyes in a silent gesture of 'go.' I pushed myself farther from Sodapop's grip, silently loathing the physical embrace. "My mom cheated on my dad," I said bluntly. His eyes widened.

"But what does that have to do with—"

"Just listen," I said quickly, sighing. "My mother cheated and my dad found out. And he went _crazy. _I mean he beat her up until she all she could physically do was cry and eat." Ponyboy was silent. "She committed suicide a couple months later." Still no response from Ponyboy, and I silently thanked him for that. "That left _me_ with my crazy dad, which wasn't so good. He got protective over me, and not in the good way. He would ask where I had gone, what I was doing, and what I was going to do. And he made it so that every answer I replied with was the wrong one.

"It was mighty hard," I mumbled, congratulating myself when I didn't cry. "He started beating me up. He was a real habitual smoker, him and my mom both, and he got into depression. He got drunk, waited around for me, and then hit me. It was like hell and I couldn't take it myself. I wanted to go and follow my mother's path. It got so bad—he was literally torturing me. I lost so much blood and weight, since we didn't have enough money to buy food and so on.

"My dad was psycho," I said inaudibly. "He killed himself as well. I had no parents, and well I was legally underage, so they shipped me to the closest people I knew. My fourth cousins, Darrel, Sodapop, and Ponyboy Curtis."

He suddenly searched for something, and then grabbed my fingers, the warmth of his hands greeting my cold, pale one. "Don't get mad, but Darry told me about your cancer."

I bit my lip. "I'm not mad," I assured him, after a couple moments of silence. "I just … it seems as if everything is going so horrible in my life. I end up with leukemia, both my parents are dead, and now I'm in Tulsa, a place I barely know about."

"Hey, hey," Ponyboy said quickly as he wiped a tear that nearly dropped from my eye, "Let's talk about better things."

"Okay," I said, turning to face him again, "What do we do in Tulsa?"

I smiled, but Ponyboy said quietly, "Dimples."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"I didn't know you had dimples," he clarified.

"Oh," I said, my smile fading away. I changed the subject quickly: my mother had dimples. "So, you never answered my question. What do you guys do?"

"Well," he said, rubbing his neck nervously, "sometimes the gang visits Soda and Steve at the DX. Or we watch movies at night. There's even this pretty big lake nearby that we go to when it gets real hot outside. The water is ice cold."

"That sounds fun," I mumbled, feeling my eyelids droop. "So Steve and Dally seem really quiet… they didn't say much when I was here."

Pony shrugged against the pillow. "Dally's a real fighter—he got into the slammer one too many times. He's a good guy at times, barely seventeen, and he's kind of overprotective about Johnny, but that's really it. He doesn't let anybody boss him around, not even his girlfriend, Sylvia. He isn't close to quiet though—he's usually around here, cussing his ass off."

"That's funny," I said with a soft laugh. "His girl seems as tuff as him. She's one rude girl. Why's that?" My blue-grey eyes were shining.

"Dally is never serious about his girls, but Sylvia's probably been the one girl he's been with the longest. They are more of an on/off type of relationship. She's probably just jealous because you're too darn pretty." He flicked my nose gently.

I snorted, but felt unmistakably pleased. "And Steve?"

"Well Steve doesn't like me at all," Ponyboy muttered feeling tired. "He just thinks I'm a waste of space."

"That's rude," I commented.

"He's just like that," Ponyboy said, shrugging again.

I fell asleep before I could answer a smile on my face.

* * *

My eyelids reluctantly opened with protest as the sunlight filtered through the long, white curtains that fell over the small windows. I shot a look at the clock, reading; 10.31. I was satisfied with the thought that I gained some sleep, and pressed the covers over my body. My bare feet stepped onto the wooden floors, creaking in protest from my weight.

As soon as I entered the television room, my mouth fell agape in shock. Ponyboy was sprawled out on the floor, my books surrounding him as he flipped through the books, concentrated solely on them. I cleared my throat, a notion of interruption, and he looked up, startled. "Oh… Danny, um," he paused, then blushed, "…sorry."

"It's fine," I said sweetly, shrugging nonchalantly. "Just make sure you put them back. And in exchange, I'm wearing your clothes." Seeing Pony's confused expression, I continued, "Darry approved."

Ponyboy laughed shyly. "And I thought girls loved how they looked like."

"As long as I am covered," I responded, fighting back a grin. "I'm going to take a shower, okay?"

"You know where everything is," he said in response, returning back to the flipping of my books. What a peculiar boy.

The bathroom was very small, with a shower on the side, a miniscule sink, and a toilet. Charcoal gray curtains drew the shower shut, providing privacy. Peeling my day old clothes off, I stripped naked after I locked the door. Turning the knob for hot water, I let the water run as I looked at myself in the cracked mirror. I almost recoiled in shock—my once glossy, black hair was limp, straight, and dead. I grimaced as I touched the oily ends, and promised myself I would retain the sleek waves again. Before, my eyes were a clearer blue, but now they were a duller, less exciting gray-blue, that seemed to make my eyes look hollow. I had lost too much weight – as Darry had noted, simultaneously losing my curves… ones that I had once relished. My ribs were starting to show, that itself was a bad sign.

I stepped into the shower, and felt as if my worries for pacified, be it for a moment. The scalding water burned the sweat and dirt away, and I nearly moaned in the feeling. It felt good, wallowing in the dripping hot water, taking a break from life. I felt renewed as I scrubbed, washed, cleaned, and smoothed, making sure everything was sterile. I turned the knob, letting the water stop, and wrapped the towel around my body.

My heart stopped beating for a moment as I frantically looked around for my clothes. I immediately slapped myself on the forehead, "Ponyboy!"

"Yeah?" I heard him ask, curious.

"I forgot to get… _your_ clothes!" I screamed back, rubbing my temples tiredly.

I heard his loud laughter, and a pink tint appeared on my cheeks. I didn't exactly expect him to laugh. I heard Ponyboy stumbling around, the sound of drawers being pulled open. I let the door open just a bit, allowing Pony to drop the clothes onto the tiled floor. I mumbled my thanks as I examined the clothes in front of me. A very cheap t-shirt, black in fact, and a pair of faded jeans. He was younger than me by two years, yet the jeans were still big on me.

"Okay, time to start accepting that chocolate cake," I said to myself.

Pushing the door open, I dried my damp hair with my towel, and glanced into the living room. Only Johnny was there, staring blankly at the television screen. He wasn't processing a thing, just letting the images of Mickey Mouse run through his head. Ponyboy was still reading on the floor, entranced.

I sat next to Johnny again, and this time he made an effort by smiling hesitantly at me. I returned the gesture and leaned back against the old couch. "Hey Johnny," I said quietly, fingering a loose strand of my jean.

"Hey Danny," he said, his voice barely audible.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," I said softly, finally looking up at him. "I get a little crazy. It happens at times."

Johnny sighed slightly, then smiled at me. It was a ghost of a smile that manifested itself on his lips, but it was true, sincere, and very rare. "It's fine," he said, his black eyes dark; too dark. "It happens to me sometimes."

I nodded, glancing at the dull play of the television screen, "So we're okay, right?"

"Yeah… we're okay."


	3. The Missing Piece

* * *

**cancer**

**chapter three  
**_the missing piece  
_

* * *

A simple piece of chocolate cake, served on a cracked china platter was thrust into my face. Surprised, I looked up to see Ponyboy holding the cake, a small smile on his normally shy face. "You haven't eaten the entire time you've been here," he said softly, sounding almost like a protective adult. He was only fourteen, I remembered. "You need to eat something. Besides, we're going to go visit Sodapop and Steve later at the DX, and I don't want you to be hungry."

Two-Bit had come at least thirty minutes later, chipper and rejuvenated, a large smile on his face. He had plopped himself on the couch, asked how I was doing, then returned back to watching the television.

"Oh, okay," I said, taking the plate. I slowly took up the metal fork, a little piece of cake on the edge, and bit in, savoring the sweet taste. It was a little hot, from the microwave, and kind of rough at the edges, but all in all, it tasted very good. "I like it," I assured Ponyboy, who was watching my moves with vague interest.

He grinned widely in response.

After I had eaten, Ponyboy quickly shut off the television, ignoring the protests of Two-Bit, "Let's start to head out."

Two-Bit devilishly smirked, and then glanced at me, before stretching. "Let's go then." He got up as Johnny and I followed. Ponyboy trailed after us when he closed the front door and headed out to the sidewalk. Johnny and Ponyboy walked side by side as Two-Bit and I walked behind him.

I stifled a yawn, sighing, and it didn't go by unnoticed by Two-Bit, "You tired, Danny?"

"A little," I admitted, flushing slightly.

He only chuckled, then grabbed my wrist, causing me to successfully stop in mid-step. I looked up at him questionably, but he only grinned in response. He kneeled and gestured to his back, "Hop on."

"Um…" By this time, Ponyboy and Johnny were glancing back at us. My cheeks heated up once again. "That's okay… I'll just walk."

"Nonsense," he said in a fake British accent, "A fine lady like you should not have to walk one single step." I laughed at his charm, but my smile faded when I realized he was serious. "Come on," he said, his sing-song voice a bit irritating. "Get on."

"No thanks, Two-Bit." I walked hurriedly, trying to get away from him, but was disappointed when he pulled me by my arm, towards him. He lifted my successfully so that his hands held my thighs perfectly in place. Ponyboy and Johnny shared amused looks as they continued to walk, but I couldn't help but feel out of place and nervous. It seemed like a much too intimate position for me, especially since I had only met the guy _yesterday. _

"Loosen up," he joked, tickling the undersides of my thighs, "you feel as stiff as cardboard."

I complied, letting my back get less tense, but still feeling unsure. I dangled my arms around his neck, but my heart started to race as he started to run. "Move out of the way, Pony!" He was roaring with laughter while I immediately stiffened, my arms nearly choking him as my legs wrapped around his waist. I was scared to death.

By the time we had reached the gas station, I was breathing heavily, my eyes wide with shock. But, secretly, I had loved the euphoria. It felt so amazing, so careless – reckless, almost, that I enjoyed it. I couldn't help but laugh softly, burying my face conspicuously in his hair, trying to pacify my shaking laughter.

I could practically hear the smile in his voice, "You've got a pretty laugh."

I blushed harder, "Shut up, Two-Bit."

I jumped off his back, rolling my eyes as Two-Bit shrugged, and headed towards Sodapop. There were some girls near him, chatting, talking, and laughing, and it seemed like he was very popular. His shirt was off, probably the main reason of his popularity, his muscles smudged with grease and dirt. I held in a snort. Steve didn't even glance at them as he stood nearby, filling a truck with gas, the epitome of cool.

"Dan, over here…!" It was Sodapop's jovial voice, and I turned to greet him with a small smile.

"Hey Soda," I said quietly, excusing myself through the small group of girls to say hello. Some of the girls were looking at me curiously, while others were glaring. I didn't want to know why.

"You have breakfast, yet?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he pulled on a shirt.

"Yeah, Ponyboy gave me some of your chocolate cake," I said, my voice growing tight when I saw Dally walk into the DX. I just felt…strange around him. I wasn't exactly sure if I abhorred the feeling or if I liked it.

"Hey, you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost," he joked, his smile resembling one of a Cheshire cat's. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing!" I blurted, quickly. Much too quickly. It only spurred him to be more curious and suspicious.

He walked towards the store, making sure I was following, and I tried distracting him. "Buy this for me," I said, tossing him a bag of potato chips.

Sodapop complied, and then leaned against the counter, gesturing for me to follow. We shared the chips for a moment, before he swallowed and said, "Come on, what's gotten you in such a strange mood?"

I didn't think telling him: 'Oh, Dally just makes me nervous' would be a good idea, so I randomly said the first thing that came to mind.

"I think I have a crush on Two-Bit."

Oh, _crap. _My cheeks started to burn so hotly, I swear I felt it was on fire. I dropped my eyes, knowing I couldn't take it back, and Sodapop stopped crunching. "You're kidding," he said, stupefied. "I didn't think Two-Bit was that good – you met the guy yesterday!" He laughed slightly, his eyes sparkling dangerously.

"I … I… um…" I was stuttering. Horribly, so.

"Well, I just want to warn you, Two-Bit isn't really good with relationships," he said softly, sounding as Ponyboy did earlier this morning.

I wanted to laugh now. "It's a crush," I said, feigning nonchalance. "It'll go away."

Sodapop chuckled, throwing the empty cover into the trash can. "Let's go outside."

It was more ironic when Two-Bit was the first one to greet us, eyeing us suspiciously, "What were you two talking about?"

"Nothing," we chirped in unison, sharing a smile. Sodapop walked away to Steve before he could get another word in, and Ponyboy walked over to us, Johnny behind him.

"Danny, it's time for you to see the lake."

* * *

The lake was beautiful.

Crystal water, that looked untouched, with dewy grass surrounding it. Small waterfalls pooled into the small circular body of water; it seemed to glimmer from the light of the sun. It flushed onto the rocks, the sand mixing. "This is beautiful," I breathed, my eyes wide with innocent naivety.

Two-Bit, Dally, Johnny, Ponyboy were the ones that accompanied me, but Ponyboy was the only one that laughed. "Yeah, we don't come here often, but it's a real cool place."

"Let's swim," Two-Bit said impatiently, pulling his shirt off, revealing a lanky yet lean muscled build. Dally followed, showing a tanned six pack that made me flush. Ponyboy kept his black shirt on as he dove in, landing in the water with a splash. Johnny and I opted on sitting on the rocks in the middle of the water, watching as they swam around.

"Aren't you guys coming?" Two-Bit shouted, already far away.

I shook my head quickly, "I hate water." Johnny nodded in agreement.

"Come on, Dan!" Ponyboy cajoled, splashing the water. "It's great out here!"

"Yeah!" Two-Bit agreed, laughing.

Dally didn't say much, his eyes still on me. I shook my head violently, "No way… _Keith._"

"I'm going to get you for that," he called out, his smirk still distinguishable from a far distance away.

* * *

**dally**

There was something about her that made him curious. As she sat innocently, her legs brushing the water, he felt his heart race incredibly fast. When he had seen her, he saw something in her eyes that he saw in Johnny's as well. They were hollow. There was something broken about her, as if she was like glass. She was beautiful, though it would take a couple glances to truly see it. Obviously she had made some sort of connection with Johnny, as he had not made a single complaint as she started to doze off on his shoulder.

They seemed so alike.

And the churning in his stomach made him realize he was jealous.

"Watch this," Two-Bit muttered in his ear, as he swam towards the large rock. Johnny was watching the other direction, watching as Ponyboy held his breath underwater. He didn't see Two-Bit, and neither did Danny, who had nearly closed her eyelids…

His lips were brushing her earlobe, and he very carefully, "Hey Dan!"

Her eyes snapped open, and undistinguishable emotion covering them before she toppled ungracefully into the water, frantic shrieks of protest. "Holy shit!" Two-Bit yelled, jumping back into the water, and Dally realized what the dilemma was. There was a red hue coating the once-clean water.

"What the fuck?" he yelled angrily, following Two-Bit as they grabbed Danny's semiconscious body from underwater. She wasn't making any movements as they pulled her up on shore, both their breathing heavy.

"Damn it," Two-Bit said, rubbing a hand over his face. He traced her face slowly, playing with the damp curls of her hair until Dally shoved him away.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked, not caring for his answer.

Ponyboy and Johnny had barely reached him when he lowered his lips to Danny's soft, pink ones. They seemed so inviting as he inhaled, her body heat still making him nervous. He lowered his mouth to hers, letting their lips rub against each others. Sparks started to make his lips tingle as he suddenly pulled away. But it didn't matter, because Danny's eyes flew open, her breathing frenzied and harsh. She coughed and choked, as Ponyboy hurriedly kneeled near her.

She looked quite hysterical; her hair was wild as her pupils were dilated. She, then, clutched her arm with one hand, and put a finger to her lips softly with the other. Water dropped from the sides of her face, the shirt clinging to her nonexistent curves.

"Are you okay?" It was Johnny's voice that spoke first, and Dally was more than surprised.

She wanted to say yes, it was obvious, but then tears filled her eyes. She shook her head rapidly, lowering her eyes. "I want to go home."

"Hey, look," Two-Bit said, pushing Pony out of the way to talk to her, "I didn't mean to hurt you or anything. It was all a joke."

"I just," she breathed in deeply, "take me home."

It was then that everyone noticed the large gash on her forehead. It was bleeding a little, dripping from the sides of her face and into her hair. But Dally knew everyone was even more surprised when he stood up and picked her up, letting the shock fade. "Come on," he said, his voice rough. "I'm taking you home."

**end dally**

* * *

And even though I was bleeding, I couldn't help but realize how strong his arms were, and how protected I felt in them. It felt like I was the missing piece to his puzzle.


	4. Peroxide On My Wounds

* * *

**cancer**

**chapter four**_  
peroxide on my wounds_

* * *

Dally hadn't said a word to me as he set me down on the countertop. He hadn't even opened his mouth as he searched for the first aid kit, and certainly didn't think it was his obligation to ask me if I was okay while he grabbed a towel. But there was this strange expression on his face—a mix of displeasure, annoyance, and worry—that made me wonder if he really was that uncaring. I watched carefully as he slowly dipped the towel into rubbing alcohol, and finally met my eyes as he walked towards me.

Only as the towel descended on my cut did I finally feel the complete stinging pain of the wound. I flinched, making a soft sound of protest, as the flesh started to burn. Dally pulled back, surprised, and quickly asked me, "Are you okay?" He sounded genuinely afraid, almost chastising himself for doing something wrong. I also realized those were the first words he had ever spoken to me.

"I-I'm fine," I stuttered clumsily, blushing a scarlet red. He raised an eyebrow, and I silently swore for having extremely pale skin. "Really… just finish… fast."

He nodded curtly, dabbing the damp towel in another coat of alcohol, and let the towel rest on my forehead. I squeezed my eyes shut in pain, feeling the searing heat. But then, with my eyes still closed, I felt the towel being removed, and the burning fade away into a soothing calm. I opened my eyes to see Dally's face right in front of my own, his mouth inches away from my cut. He was _blowing_ on my cut.

Wait—I got hurt?

I was almost in a daze as I felt Dally's nimble fingers brush against my face as he placed the bandages on. It was such a light, feathery touch – almost a caress. I almost didn't notice the twinkle in his cerulean eyes. I swallowed as I breathed clearly through my nose, trying not to let Dally hear how my breaths were starting to get labored. Just as I thought I might collapse from the sheer proximity of his warm, _warm_ body, he moved away and smiled satisfactorily.

"There," he said neatly, taking the bandages and alcohol.

I timidly touched the bandages, unsure of what to say. My mouth felt unearthly dry.

Dally finally turned to me after he put the kit away, scanning my face. I saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed, and he finally asked, "You hungry?"

Just as he asked the question, my stomach rumbled loudly. "A little," I admitted, placing a hand over my stomach. This felt like the most tense, awkward conversation I had ever participated in.

"Johnny and I usually go out to eat," he blurted suddenly, causing my head to snap towards him. "You can join us, if you want."

It was a casual invitation, and even though the refusal was at the tip of my tongue, I nodded slowly. "I—um… okay."

His lips twitched, not necessarily a full out smile, but more of a devastatingly handsome half-smile. The hard planes of his rough face softened as he smiled, his eyes glittering with entertainment. That made my answer worthwhile.

* * *

After I had changed from my soaked clothes into dry, comfortable clothes, I followed Johnny and Dally out the door. It was strangely cold, for a seemingly hot July afternoon. We approached Dally's beat up and battered car, which was our means of transportation. Dally recklessly hopped in, and I sighed, opening the door as I sat down. Johnny joined me in the back, sending another one of those light smiles at me.

"Is this a routine thing for you guys?" I asked, once Dally had gotten the car successfully on the road. I didn't want the entire drive to be ridden in silence.

"What?" Johnny asked, turning to look at me.

"Going out to eat," I said with a laugh. "Without the rest of the gang."

Johnny shrugged, glancing at Dally through the rearview mirror. "It's a ritual thing with me and Dal." He sent an incomprehensible look to Dally, something I couldn't decipher in his eyes. Dally met Johnny's eyes and then looked away, his eyes hard.

Dally parked the car in the Dairy Queen, ordering two double cheeseburgers and fries, while Johnny ordered a vanilla milkshake. I settled on a hamburger, plain with no tomatoes. Once we all had our food, Dally suddenly spoke to me, "You look too thin." His eyes drifted low on my figure, causing my heart to race incredibly fast.

"I know," I said with a nod, biting into my burger. "I don't even know _why_—I eat like any other normal person."

But actually, I did know why. On the diagnosis sheet I had received days before I left for Tulsa, it had said that weight loss for no identified reason was a symptom of early leukemia. It had brought shivers up and down my spine.

"Dan, hey," Johnny grabbed my attention with his gentle voice, "try this." He held out his milkshake, already two thirds completed, for me to take.

I took the cup gingerly, not a great fan of milkshakes, and then took a small sip. I couldn't help it—I took another sip. "This is really good," I said, laughing. It had been a while since I had laughed, but it felt so refreshing. Johnny stuck out his hand for his milkshake back, but I shook my head playfully.

"No thanks, I think I'll keep this."

I didn't even notice that Dally was watching us closely, eyebrow raised in surprise.

"You might have a sugar tooth," Johnny said, chuckling softly. "That could be—"

He didn't finish his sentence, since somebody else interrupted him. "_Danielle Logans?_" Incredulous, deep, and ultimately my best friend—I didn't have to turn around to know who it was. But I turned anyway, seeing a well-dressed, lean teenager strolling across the parking lot, a wide grin fit on his face. His hair was made mostly of rich chocolate colored curls, too many to count. His eyes were a light, brighter hazel that could almost resemble gold. He had been my best friend years after my mother's dead, being my only sense of comfort. After he moved away, I never thought I would see him again. I had thought wrong.

"Evan?" I breathed out, ignoring the discomfited looks of my two friends beside me. I got out of the car, meeting Evan halfway, hugging him tightly. At least there was one piece of my life here in Tulsa. I _knew_ Evan. We had been friends, gone through so many things, and experienced everything as best friends. His hands rested lightly on my mid-back, as he laughed softly.

"I knew it was you, especially when I saw a hamburger with no tomatoes."

Evan used to tease me constantly on how I used to pick out the tomatoes from everything—salads, sandwiches, burgers. I couldn't stand them, and he would always make fun of that. But I smiled, tipping my head, seeing how he was three or four inches taller than me. "What are you doing in Tulsa?" I asked warmly.

"I could ask you the same thing," he said, patting my back for the last time as he pulled away.

"My relatives live here," I said bluntly, and I saw as his face as comprehension dawned on his face.

"So, um," he choked out the words, "he's dead?"

I sighed, pushing the nagging dark hair from my face, "He's dead."

"Danielle, you don't need to sound so impassive…" he trailed off when he looked past my shoulder. "Whose the two guys you're hanging out with?" he asked, rather tightly, as he gave a curt nod in the direction of Dally and Johnny.

"Oh," I said, taking his arm and pulling him closer to the car. "This is Dally Winston and Johnny Cade." I immediately felt his entire body tense as he smiled at them quite forcefully.

"I haven't—"

"Evan, who are you talking to?" The rough, granite voice interrupted Evan, and I turned to see a blonde haired boy similarly dressed to Evan walking up to us both. He wasn't the most attractive boy, but his smile seemed too attractive enough for him to be assured a girlfriend. When he reached the two of us, he smile slowly faded. He had taken notice of the two boys in the car, who were crumpling up the wrappers of the sandwiches. "Oh, just some disgusting Greasers, eh?"

Dally was out of the car before the guy could say another word, his dulled pocket knife scratching against the hollow his throat. "What the _hell_ did you say, Soc?" The words were spat onto his face as Dally's eyes blazed with ire and fury. He dug the knife in harder, making the Soc wince, as well as myself.

"I said, just some dirty Grease—"

Dally nearly sliced the skin off his throat before Evan shoved him away from his friend, glaring profusely. "Why don't you go fight with someone else, Winston?" He spared a glance towards me before turning back to said man, but Dally hadn't even noticed. His breathing was heavy from rage.

He rammed into Evan, nearly sending him flying into the other boy, but he held steady. Soon, Evan had punched Dally, which led to Dally snarling in anger, and punching him back. Dally obviously didn't back down from a fight. Johnny, by now, was near by side, muttering words, and I could only make out, "Not again…"

"Stop," I said softly, unsure. The boys didn't even hear me, continuing to struggle against each other, throwing flimsy and weak punches at each other when they got the chance. "Stop!" It wasn't that loud, but this time Johnny heard it. He turned to me with wide eyes, seeing as how I was struggling to breathe. "Stop it! Stop it, just _stop!_" By now, my screams were hysterical.

The boys stopped in mid-punch, turning to look at me, as they saw me. Dally looked ruffled, his hair out of place, while Evan was heaving a breath. "Dan, what's wrong?" I couldn't tell who asked me the question, the sides of my eyes blacking out. My vision faded into a clear white, and the same voice frantically called, "Dan! Dan, what's happening?"

I felt a long, stinging pain in my side before I felt my eyesight black out. I crumpled to the ground, unconscious.


	5. Beautiful Disaster

* * *

**cancer**

**chapter five**_  
beautiful disaster_

* * *

Every part of me stung. Even the slightest movement made me cringe as I opened my eyes, revealing a foggy room. I could only hear the incessant beeping of the machines and see the cracking, gray paint of the fading walls. My body felt hypersensitive—I could feel the pillow underneath my head, the hair sprawled against my face, the uncomfortable hospital nightgown against my bare legs. There were IVs connected to my arms, and the tubes were rough against my chaffed skin.

I breathed in sharply when I finally noticed the other figure slumped across one of the hospital chairs. His head was bent toward his lap as his hand covered his face, and obviously he was asleep. For some unexplainable reason, my heart started clenching, thinking it was Dally. But then, I noticed the other quirks. His hair was brown and messy, and I noticed the protruding veins of his upper arms—Darry. I wasn't sure if he could feel that I was awake, but he blinked sleepily, his eyelashes fluttering. He looked around the room, and then immediately brought his eyes down to me, them widening when he saw I was awake.

"Oh thank God," he breathed, straightening his body, stretching his worn muscles. His large hand reached over to my own and held it carefully, softly running his thumb over my knuckles. I just noticed his eyes were red—had he been crying? "You scared us."

I smiled lightly, feeling weak. "How long was I out?"

The hard look in his eyes returned, as he said tersely, "Three days."

I tried emitting a sound of surprise, but I just didn't have the energy. I felt like I had run a marathon—my back was profusely sweating, making the itchy material stick to my skin. My body felt hot and feverish. But finally I whispered softly, "Three days?"

He nodded. "God, Danielle, everyone was so scared."

And then everything raced back to me. The full force of everything made me shut my eyes momentarily, but then I looked back to Darry. He looked stressed out and extremely worried, but there was a tender look in his eyes. I remembered Johnny's frightened look, the loud grunts of the fight, and the bruises' sting came back for a second.

"And I'm really sorry," he whispered, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes, "that I'm not rich enough to pay for treatments."

I felt his hand's grip on me tighten and I fought back for my own tears, "Oh Darry. It's not your fault at all."

"It is," he choked out. "You might not realize this, but you, Soda, and Pony are the only real family in my life. I can't lose you, not after I lost my parents." At the very second, Darry sounded like the role of a child he left many years ago. He sounded afraid.

"I'm not going anywhere," I promised sincerely, though it was a lie.

We were quiet for a moment, Darry's hand rhythmically calming me until I was somewhat serene. I rested my head against the pillow, sighing softly in disapproval. I would do anything for the warm, dry sheets of Ponyboy's room.

I nearly started when the door opened, revealing a tall man in a lab coat. His eyes were unrealistically bright green, and his jaw was angular. He was around his late forties, with a mop of golden blonde hair and a white smile. He chuckled as he turned to close the door, the soft click assuring. "Hello Danielle," he said cheerfully, walking up to me. It was a part of his job, I understood, as he looked at me with an unwavering grin. "My name's Dr. Alec Wood."

I smiled, since the man seemed benevolent. He continued, his clipboard remaining his hands, his eyes on the papers. "Well," his uncharacteristically bright smile suddenly faltered, "we've just got the results from your diagnosis." I sat patiently in my bed, feeling my hand, that wasn't held by Darry, shaking. "The reasons for your blackout are simple: it was caused by severe fright and emotional stress." His voice was serious, a complete contrast from his chipper voice just moments ago. "And well, another theory of your blackout is that the cancer is spreading inside your body."

Darry furiously swiped a palm over his face, trying to remove the palpable sweat. "That's just a theory?" Darry asked hopefully, not meeting the doctor's eyes.

"Yes," Dr. Wood agreed, "but we need to do complete testing to prove it correct. Don't get your hopes up, Mr. Curtis." His voice was stern.

I was staring at the white sheets, feeling a thin tear bubble from my eye and drip down my cheek. I meekly looked up to Dr. Alec, feeling my lips quaver, "Am I going to die?"

He pursed lips, obviously startled from my blunt question, but sighed, dropping his pen onto the clipboard. "I'm sorry, Miss Logans. You're too late into the stages of leukemia. There is nothing the doctors can do, especially since you are not capable of getting treatments."

"We'll take a loan," Darry blurted, standing up, nearly making his chair topple over. "We'll get the payments—we'll do anything."

"The treatments won't work," Dr. Wood said softly, slightly exasperated. "Chemo is still being tested and is still not assuredly safe for patients. We can't do anything."

"How long does she have?" Darry whispered, fleetingly forgetting I was in the room.

Dr. Wood glanced at me doubtfully, before swallowing and answering, "Six months."

* * *

I fingered the bouquet of yellow and white daisies, noticing the entire gang staring at me strangely, but not really caring. I plucked one of the petals out, letting it drift to the tiled floor. Two-Bit was seated next to me on my _own_ hospital bed, as he let my head rest against his arm. Johnny was sitting on the seat Darry had once occupied—who was now standing by the door near Dally. Ponyboy was on the chair opposite of Johnny with Soda and Steve beside him. The silence was consuming, but I knew they were dying to figure out what had happened. I wouldn't tell them—if I wasn't accepting it, how could they.

When Dr. Wood told Darry 'six months', the blood had drained from my already-pale face as tears started to run down my cheeks. Alec had sent me looks of sympathy and pity, but I couldn't stop. I was choking on my tears as Darry blandly comforted me, whispering assurances that were all lies. "I guess I'm not sticking around," I had said softly after we had sat in silence for a while. Darry had looked at me with eyes that were so broken, I almost regretted saying it.

Now I was sure I was traumatized. I didn't speak, even when Two-Bit squeezed my shoulder. "So, what happened?" he asked carefully, his breath irritating against the shell of my ear. I wriggled against him, my eyes dropping slightly.

"I don't want to talk about it," I said finally, my voice cracking.

"Dan," he said inaudibly. "Please."

"I can't," I said desperately, shaking my head. "Just get away from me—"

"Dan," Darry said pleadingly, his unkempt hair showing his suffering, speaking from his spot.

"No! Just leave…" I said, my eyes leaking more tears. "I'm fine; can't you people just give me a break?" I closed my eyes, hearing the sighs and the pulling away of Two-Bit's warm body. Footsteps faded away as the door closed, letting me believe that everyone was gone. I suddenly felt regretful, but as I opened my eyes, surprise pooled into my eyes.

Dally was still leaning against the wall, staring straight at me. His gaze was so intense that I nearly flinched, somewhat able to keep my calm as I spoke, "I'd appreciate if I was left alone."

Secretly, I was happy that he didn't move. His gaze never weakened as he opened his mouth. "I'm sorry."

I looked down, but my head snapped up when he spoke. "What?" I said, stunned. Ponyboy had told me that Dally _never _apologized. It just wasn't the way he was.

His lips twitched perceptibly. "I said I'm sorry." He saw I was going to protest, so he continued, just as smoothly, "I invited you to eat with Johnny and me, and instead, I got into a fight with your… friend." He had hesitated on the last word, which was certainly understandable. He wasn't too fond of Evan.

"It's not your fault," I responded automatically. It wasn't his fault.

He sighed, "I know I've been kind of rude ever since you got here, but let's just say I'm not comfortable with new people. I wanted a new start." His lips turned in a barely-there smile, but I noticed it. "The silent treatment isn't fun for anyone… and I think we could be friends."

I smiled back, the muscles around my mouth hurting. "I think that's a good idea."

"Good," he said quietly as he unfolded his arms to leave, "That's good."


	6. Change The World

* * *

**cancer**

**chapter six**_  
change the world_

* * *

The realization hit me when I was leaving the hospital, trailing behind Two-Bit. I think Two-Bit was still upset with me after what had happened the day before, but I was struck with the conclusion that I could _die. _I had been subconsciously aware of this, but the true fear had been placated moments after the door was shut. The engine rumbled, but my eyes were empty as I stared out the window. Every single second counted now—everything I did could affect me. I wanted to scream. I was only sixteen years old. I certainly was not ready to end my life in six measly months, the thought itself making my heart race.

But I wasn't all pessimistic. I realized I could do anything I wanted to do. It was almost as if there was a deadline, and I had to complete the most daring tasks I could in that six month period. I could go skydiving, I could travel the world—I stopped abruptly when I realized I could do _no _such thing. I didn't have the money, and I know Darry would refuse the idea even in the slightest. I pushed the audacious thoughts away, and my reverie came to a standstill at the gang.

I had been here for a little less than a week, yet I had already been hospitalized and in a fight with Two-Bit, the closest thing to a friend. I understood Johnny the most; he was the most like me. Yet did I really think of them as family?

I glanced unsurely at Two-Bit, who was the driving the truck slowly. He glanced at me when he felt my gaze and cracked a smile, albeit slightly tight. "How are you feeling, Danielle?" For the first time, Two-Bit had called me by my full name. It was actually the second time, if you counted the introduction, but otherwise, he had called me: Dan, Danny, or Miss Logans. So I knew immediately he was upset.

"Two-Bit," I said softly, earning myself a curious look. "I didn't mean what I said yesterday."

I saw a flicker of surprise in his eyes, but he covered it with a quick laugh, "Yeah, I knew that. You were under a lot of stress – I should have just left you alone."

"But I shouldn't have been mad at you," I said quietly, reprimanding myself. "You were just being a good friend."

"Look," Two-Bit said, taking another right turn, "I'm not angry at you. I understand completely where you're coming from. But just because people think I'm a jokester doesn't mean you can't tell me things. I'm as trustworthy as Darrel Curtis, you got that?"

I nodded, feeling Two-Bit's anxiety dissipate.

"Good," he said delicately. "Now get out of here."

I could do nothing but comply.

* * *

I couldn't get to sleep. I didn't understand why I couldn't, since the entire day I had been walking around, I felt dead tired. But after I showered and touched the bed-sheets, the weariness faded away. Now I was staring at the ceiling, while Ponyboy's chin rested on my shoulder. I was completely still, only hearing Sodapop's annoyed grunts as he kept tossing and turning. I wasn't the only one who couldn't get into the dream world.

I nudged Soda slightly, making him freeze for a moment, "Soda?"

He turned, revealing his heavily lidded hazel eyes and stared at me with surprise. "You're still awake?" His tone was a little worried, for reasons unknown to me.

"I'm not tired," I admitted, turning gently so I wouldn't wake Pony. "I need to tell you something… _important._" My serious tone of voice made him look at me fully while he rubbed his eyes. "What is it?"

I sighed, mulling over the correct words to say. I finally rested the side of my cheek against the soft pillow and avoided his eyes, "I have cancer." He looked at me in silence for a moment and opened his mouth to say something, but I interrupted him quickly, "I knew ever since I came here, but I didn't have enough money for treatments. And then… the sight of blood from the fight just got me so emotionally upset"—I always had a phobia of blood—"and that's what caused the blackout.

"Then the doctor started saying things about how the cancer was spreading," I said softly, not understanding why shock wasn't registering on Sodapop's face. He was unusually silent. "He told me I had six months to live."

"I know," he said gently, now surprising me. "Darry told Pony and me after we left from your hospital room." He wiped tears from underneath my eyes, tears I didn't know where there. "I'm just glad you wanted to tell me—I was sure you'd be afraid."

"I don't know what to do, Soda," I said, brushing my eyes desperately, trying to hide the evidence of tears. "All _this_," I gestured to myself, "is killing me – both emotionally and physically."

He gave me a small hug, but pulled away when Ponyboy grumbled, moving away. I finally relaxed, breathing normally. "I'm sorry things had to happen this way," he whispered comfortingly.

"I don't want to die," I said, feeling my eyes start to sting again. "I _really_ don't want to die."

I knew Sodapop understood—after everything I had gone though: from the abuse of my father to my mother's death, that was the one thing I had been truly afraid of. Death. It was clouding my entire family, but it had never touched me. And now it would, in approximately five months and twenty nine days.

"We love you," Sodapop said, cuddling me. "Ponyboy, Soda, Darry, and the entire gang."

"The entire gang doesn't even know me," I protested weakly, nearly blubbering with tears. "They just think of me as some annoying cousin who's living with you guys."

"They don't think that," Sodapop said kindly, brushing away the hair from my eyes, "You don't understand, but we all love you very much." Obviously Sodapop was tired of talking about depressing things, so he hid a small smile. "I see you're progressing with Two-Bit."

"What?" I asked, dazed. His quick subject change made my head spin slightly. "What… _oh._" I realized what he was talking about. I had blurted that I had a crush on Two-Bit a couple days ago, now Soda was bringing it up. "How am I progressing?" I asked curiously.

He chuckled. "He was sitting next to you on the hospital bed," he said with a wink. "If that isn't progress, I don't know what is."

I couldn't help it—I blushed hard. My tears dried up quickly, and the only feeling I felt was the dryness of my throat. "Y-You don't actually think that—"

"I know so," Sodapop stated proudly, laughing.

"Stop," I said, trying hard not to laugh along but failing, "you're going to wake up Pony."

"Don't change the subject," Sodapop warned playfully. I didn't realize what he was trying to do was get me off the subject of cancer. "You and Two-Bit looked pretty comfy there."

I relented, trying to keep Sodapop off my case, "Whatever, Soda."

"See, I'm right?" he said triumphantly.

We laughed for a little while, but I turned to him when my eyes started to close. "Thank you, Soda. That – that was exactly what I needed."

I didn't see him nod or smile softly. "You too," he said caringly, bringing the blankets up to our waists, "Danielle Logans, you too."


	7. Soulmate

* * *

**cancer**

**chapter seven**_  
soulmate_

* * *

The salivating smell of crisp bacon and buttery toast nearly dragged me into the kitchen the next morning. Darry was watching the dishes, his back turned to me, as he hummed an _Elvis_ song to himself. Then I noticed the table, nearly _covered _with food. Scrambled eggs, pancakes, waffles, bacon, sausages, and other delicious entries were neatly piled up on each other, making my mouth water.

"Dan," Darry greeted when he turned sideways, just so I could see his face. He chuckled when he saw me wipe my mouth to rid the drool, and said, "What are you doing up so early?"

I took a seat in one of the chairs and then looked at Darry as if he was stupid, "How could I not be awake? This cooking smells great."

He rolled eyes in a friendly manner before handing me a plate. I took a good serving of everything on the table, just as Two-Bit casually strolled into the kitchen, somewhat of a skip in his step. He eyed my food, but made no comment as he plopped down next to me. "Hello beautiful," he said, grabbing a plate and donned it three times more than what I had.

I turned pink at his flirtatious tone, but transfixed him with a raised brow. He took my hand and led me to the couch, flicking on the television set. "Mickey Mouse – exactly what you need in the morning," he told me in a whisper, as if it was some big secret.

Just as he did, Sodapop walked into the room, a towel around his waist. His hair was wet with condensation from the shower, a pair of jeans dangling from his arms. He grinned at me, "Hey Dan." He then wiggled his eyebrows when his eyes landed on Two-Bit.

The pink that was fading away in my cheeks turned to red.

"Put some clothes on Sodapop," I mumbled, putting another forkful of eggs in my mouth so that Soda couldn't see my large smile.

Soda laughed as he pulled on a white wife beater. "Has anyone seen my DX hat?" He disappeared out of the room and then responded with, "Never mind, I found it in the refrigerator!" I didn't bother to comment on that as he entered the room again, this time clad in the pair of jeans he had been holding. He put the cap over his damp, dark hair and grinned wolfishly at me. "You want to come to work with me today?"

"Why?" I asked with a laugh.

"I haven't talked to you much since we got here. I'd think it'd be fun if we just hung out for the day," he suggested, his eyes glimmering with hope.

"You're boss won't mind?" I asked disapprovingly, feeling myself being a bit bolder than I felt. If Sodapop had asked me a week ago, I would have mumbled a yes. But now I was questioning him as if though I was his mother.

"Course he wouldn't. I've got my own rights now. Half the people in the DX are only there to see my inhumane gorgeous movie star looks," he said condescendingly. I heard Two-Bit snort near me, and I almost forgot he was there.

I nearly sputtered with surprise, "I don't see any movie star looks, except for Ponyboy."

Ponyboy had just entered the room, but Sodapop had not noticed. He made a sound, somewhat close to a growl as he shrugged on his red shirt, "Why's it that all the girl's think Pony's so great? He ain't anything special."

A wave of incredible hurt passed over Ponyboy's but it flickered a way in a moment. "Actually," I said softly, feeling bad, "I think Pony is very handsome. At least he can read—you know what us girl's say, 'Better brains then brawns.'"

Two-Bit now broke into laughter, slamming a fist against his thigh as his milk flew from his mouth. Darry had entered just as I said this and he chuckled loudly. Ponyboy flushed the darkest shade of red I had ever seen while Sodapop put his plate down on the table.

He lunged at me, but Darry grabbed him by the collar. "If you touch her, you'll regret it, Soda."

"I was joking," he kidded, but anyone could see the true resentment in Darry's eyes. I felt my respect for Darry grow.

"Get to work," Darry said, letting go, not before glancing at me, offering a small smile.

I stood up, finished with my breakfast, feeling strangely good. "I'm coming too."

Sodapop stared at me blankly. "All the things I do for that girl…" he muttered underneath his breath.

I could only grin.

* * *

The moment we reached the DX, we were assaulted with comments from a group of girls. Sodapop wasn't lying, he was _popular. _The girls had wild, crazed looks on their faces as they scrambled towards Soda.

"Oh my God, Soda!"

"It's been way too long, honey."

"I missed you, cuddly cakes…!"

"I cannot believe this one girl, she was all like, 'Yeah I'm going out with Sodapop…'—wait, is that your girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend? _What? _You never told me you had a girlfriend…!"

"You betrayed me?"

"Her hair is so plain – I remember you telling me you liked girls with fun hair."

"Plain Jane."

"I think he's trying to make us jealous—"

"Ladies, ladies," Sodapop said blandly, with a wave of his hand. The girls fell silent immediately. I held back a laugh. "This is not my girlfriend," he said quickly, seeing the daggers being glared at me. "This is my cousin that's staying with me. Her name's Danielle."

The glares turned to welcoming, nearly genuine smiles. I would have never thought just moments ago that they wanted to bite my head off. I tucked a piece of black hair behind my ear as I stared at Sodapop helplessly. He shrugged, "I'll take care of these girls… you just go hang out with Steve."

He pointed to the other side of the DX, where Steve was dutifully planted underneath a car. His eyes were trained upwards as I approached him, and I heard the girls chatter start up again.

"Hey Steve," I said amicably, forcing a smile. I didn't actually know Steve, so it made things a little awkard.

He grunted in response, the clattering of tools making me anxious. "What are you doing?" I asked curiously, or at least, trying to sound curious. Steve and I weren't the closest of friends—actually, I don't even think we were acquaintances. I mostly avoided him because of Steve's harsh enmity with Ponyboy. I remembered Ponyboy's words: "He pretty much thinks I'm a waste of space."

Steve didn't answer my question, and I blurted defiantly, "Is there a reason your ignoring me, or is it out of habit?"

His hand paused in mid-reach for his wrench when his eyes flickered to me, surprised. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're a jerk," I clarified, saying each word slowly.

He glared at me. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I think I do," I said confidently, knowing I was succeeding when his eyes darkened. "You don't have to be as rude as you are to Ponyboy. He didn't do anything to you."

Steve looked away from me, wiping his hands on his wife-beater as he closed the tool box. "Can you at least talk to me?" I asked, irritated.

He didn't say anything, so I sighed, sitting down on the nearby bench, head in hand.

* * *

**steve**

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, and felt guilt squirming on the insides when he saw her staring blankly ahead. She seemed like a nice girl, and he knew Darry would break his face if he did anything wrong. There was something in her light eyes that made him reconsider his rudeness.

"Do you want to get some lunch?"

Her eyes flickered up to him, "What about Sodapop?" She got up anyway.

Steve rolled his eyes, and he knew by Danielle's surprise, she had caught it. "Sodapop won't be worried – he's got enough of his fan club to keep him busy."

**end steve**

* * *

Right as Steve uttered those words, realization dawned on me. I must have not seen it before, but those words ensured my guess. Obviously Steve longed for Sodapop's charming looks and suave flirting techniques. I felt a wave of sympathy pass over me, but it disappeared the moment it appeared. The last thing Steve would want would be sympathy. And then just as I realized that, I came to another conclusion. That must have been why he was so rude to Ponyboy—he needed to outlet his anger… on something that Sodapop cared about. It must have been hard, for both of them, I thought. Pony—being picked on, and Steve—not being glanced at when Soda was around.

"Okay, where are we going to eat?"

He hummed under his breath as he changed his shirt. I wasn't surprised to see a full six pack. But I was surprised to see that girls didn't really flock after Steve. He was mildly attractive, had a nice interior, and had that bad-boy appeal that Sodapop attained none of. He had greasy hair as well, but there were some girls who loved grease.

"I usually eat in the fields just behind the DX," Steve suggested, smirking at me.

"It seems peaceful," I added helpfully, smiling as he nodded along. He walked into the DX store and I waited patiently. But then I turned my head. I saw Sodapop talking to one girl—very pretty, if you asked me. Her hair was the lightest shade of blond I had ever seen, close to barley. Sylvia's resembled a bleached blonde, but this girl's seemed a hundred percent natural. Her dew green eyes were glittering with tears as she pecked him on the cheek. She whispered something softly and turned away, but Sodapop grabbed her hand, saying something else. She shook her head and pulled the hand away, albeit reluctant.

Sodapop's face was heartbroken as he watched her go. I was pulled out of my thoughts when I saw Steve approaching me, in his hands two plastic bags. "This bags tuna," he said, shaking one of his hands. "The other's chicken. Your choice."

"Chicken," I said quickly, taking the bag. "I've always hated fish."

He grinned toothily at me, "It doesn't taste _that_ bad."

I grimaced, "I've had many strange fish encounters that I really don't wish on retelling."

He laughed as we both walked through the pathway. And when we reached there, I was amazed at Tulsa's beauty. The entire field was made of high grass that was so even, it seemed like carpet. Varieties of flowers bloomed at the sides, but it wasn't anything romantic. If anything, it was serene and calming.

We both sat on the ground as we pulled out our sandwiches. I took a bite, chewing slowly, and turned to Steve, "So mind explaining why you were in such a bad mood before?"

"You're not going to let me get away without telling you, huh?"

"Exactly why I chose this large, empty meadow," I pronounced, letting myself laugh when his eyes widened in mock-surprise.

Steve chuckled, a hollow deep sound that rumbled through his ribcages and danced through my eardrums. "It's just that…" he swallowed hesitantly, going serious. "I don't just much attention." His russet eyes flew towards me, before avoiding my eyes once again. "Not from my parents—or the girls. Sodapop doesn't have any parents, sure, but that doesn't been all the girls should be vying for him. At least a couple girls could be left for me, you know?"

We pondered his words for a moment, letting it sink in. "But don't you want that _one_ girl?" I asked, taking a sip of my Cola. "That one girl that didn't care that Sodapop was more handsome, that one girl that would always love you more?"

Steve took that into consideration, a bemused look on his daring face, "Well… yeah, but—"

"Wouldn't you hate it, waking up and realizing the only reason someone wanted to be with you was because of your looks? Well that's how Soda feels. And if you wait for that girl, well then you'll love her even more, because she wouldn't be the superficial person you believed her to be."

He looked at me, surprised. "You have a way with words," he admitted.

"That's what my mom said, too."

"Well you're mama said right," he said with a cheeky grin. My favoritism for Steve grew at that moment—he didn't even let an awkward silence begin or mutter an apology. He acted like a friend, how he should.

"Soda's probably looking for us," I said, when we had finished our food. I crumpled my bags, getting up.

"Yeah, probably," was his response.

We walked back to the DX and looked around, not spotting Soda. "Where the hell is that boy?" I heard Steve mutter.

"Soda…?" I called out hesitantly.

I spotted him around the corner. I gestured for Steve to follow me, which he did, and walked towards the boy. His handsome face was buried in his hands, and the overwhelming silence was filled with tension.

"Sodapop," I said softly, touching him on the shoulder.

He flinched and I immediately withdrew, hurt.

"What's wrong, Soda?" Steve asked gently.

"Sandy…" His voice was low, "Sandy… s-she's leaving."

"Who's—" I was silenced by Steve's glare.

"Why don't you go home, Dan?" Steve suggested helpfully, making gestures with his hands. He was right – I knew he wasn't trying to be rude. He just needed to spend a little time with Soda.

"Okay, sure," I mumbled sadly, exhaling heavily.

I left the DX without a glance back.

* * *

You could have imagined my surprise when I saw Dally leaning against the wall of a building. I still had a quarter mile left to reach the Curtis' home, so I started to walk towards him. But then I stopped short when I realized what he was doing. He was slumped against the wall in broad daylight, a cigarette limp against his index and middle finger. My eyes widened tremendously—I immediately I started remembering my father smoking when I got home. My mother flicking burnt cigarettes on the floor before she left the house to go party.

I recoiled back a couple steps, but Dally saw me. Something lit in his eyes, but it died down. His face was impassive the entire time he stared at me. "You need something, Dan?"

I drew my gaze to my feet, my lips trembling for real. "N-No, I was just, um, walking home from the DX." I started to walk past him, but he grabbed my wrist.

"What's wrong?" His voice was scratchy from the smoke, but I could hear the tenderness running through it.

"You really shouldn't smoke," I advised him. I immediately saw his eyes harden. "I'm telling you this as a _friend._"

The immediate word made the hardness vanish. He was silent for a long time, taking a few moments of contemplating, and then he dropped his cigarette, stomping it out with his foot. "You happy?"

"Yeah," I responded, smiling feebly at him.

I knew he was trying to hard to stop the smile urging his lips, but the smile won out, and the hard lines of his face alleviated once again.


	8. Cry

* * *

**cancer**

**chapter eight**_  
cry_

* * *

I opened the door only to reveal Two-Bit slumped over a mountain of pillows, his eyes glued onto the television screen. I couldn't give a plausible explanation as to why the grown teenager was addicted to the red-panted, yellow-shoed mouse, other than the fact that his antics were somewhat amusing. Two-Bit looked absolutely intrigued as he continued to gulp down his beer. I couldn't help the smile that palpably curved my lips as I kicked the door shut with my foot.

"Don't you ever do anything besides watch Mickey Mouse?" I questioned amicably as I sat down next to him, pushing strands of hair behind my ear.

He spared a glance at me before grinning cheekily. "Not really." He surprised me by clicking the television set off with the remote, and then turning on his side to look at me completely. "I actually wanted to ask you something," he said, his smile faltering slightly.

I looked at him, "Yeah?"

"There's a party at Buck Merrill's tonight," he started quickly, "and I"—he cleared his throat—"we all we wondering if you wanted to come."

I just stared at him, my face void of emotion. I knew exactly how Buck Merrill's parties _were. _Alcohol – most definitely. Drugs – of course, sex – probably, gambling… sure. Everything I'd been trying to get away from would be packed inside that party. Two-Bit didn't do that, of course, and he'd probably be offended if I said no outright, but I couldn't. There was a voice in back of my head urging me to take a chance, but it was so soft, I barely heard it.

"Two-Bit," I said, my voice trembling, "I don't think I should—"

"Its fine," he understandably, almost to himself, as he laughed lightly. "You just got out of the hospital, what am _I_ saying?" But I could have sworn I saw a tinge of disappointment lingering in his eyes.

"I would, but—"

He interrupted me once again, shrugging, "I don't really care… I was just asking."

Was it wrong to feel hurt by that?

* * *

Darry spread the grease evenly before combing his hair out with a brush. He laughed when he saw me, watching him, but he continued to work on his hair. I had been surprised when Darry said he was going to Buck Merrill's party—I would have thought he would have not gone. But he just looked at me concernedly and asked if I wanted him to stay. I didn't want to be babied around, so I just said it was fine with me.

Two-Bit was waiting near the door, and he looked normal, with his usual Mickey tee. His hair was brushed smoothly and sideburns were still long, but something in his eyes had dimmed. Sodapop had reluctantly accepted to go, Steve's persuasion evident. He was dressed in a plaid dress shirt, the white undershirt easily seen underneath. He didn't seem excited, but a small grin was on his face. Steve stood next to him, his white wife-beater in place, smudged with the usual dirt.

Johnny sat next to me. "I hate parties," he had whispered softly when I asked if he was leaving as well. I had nodded in understanding. He kept his gaze on the floor, until the door opened, revealing Dally.

Literally, my breath was taken away. His white blonde hair was easily smoothed back, his ice blue eyes glittering dangerously. Clad in leather jacket and jeans, his hands were stuffed in his pockets, a pack of cigarettes easily seen in the front pocket. His lips were upturned in an easy going smirk, his jaw angular and defined. He met my eyes for a brief moment, and his smirk turned into a small smile. _Friends. _

"Where's Ponyboy?" Johnny asked nervously, the question floating into thin air.

Sodapop turned to look at him, "He's with Cherry."

"Cherry," Steve said with a light whistle. "She's a _real_ stunner." I had no idea who Cherry was, but I noticed the slight gleam that entered Dally's eyes when the name was pronounced. She must have been something special, I thought with a wary sigh.

"She won't give me a chance," Dally said gruffly, almost… _embarrassedly_? He flipped out a cigarette, flicking the lighter on and letting it burn the end of the cancer stick.

Two-Bit rolled his eyes, before glancing at me. "You sure you're not coming?" he asked, a hopeful smile on his face. "It'll be fun."

"No," Darry said for me, walking into the room. "I don't let Pony go to those types of parties, and I sure as hell won't let Danny go."

And that was that.

* * *

The house was empty. The rest of the gang had left for the party nearly an hour ago, keeping Johnny and me somewhat unoccupied. I uninterestedly flipped the page of my book, noticing how Johnny was squirming. I set my book down, cocking an eyebrow in question, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. He glanced at the clock, before heaving a sigh, and then looking at me nervously in the eye, "Can I show you something?"

"Like what?" I asked amiably, watching as he played with his fingers, almost ashamedly.

"Just come with me," he said finally, meeting my eyes at the last second. His eyes were the most extravagant color of dark brown as he tossed me a jacket. He opened the door for me, immediately stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jean jacket. Our worn sneakers crunched against the pavement, our breaths coming out short and icy. The night skies were a dark gray, white stars littered around.

"The view is beautiful," I commented quietly.

I swore I saw Johnny's mouth quirk.

After walking for ten straight minutes, Johnny timidly took my hand as he led me forward. Both of our hands were cold. I stopped when we reached a fence. The fence itself was ripped apart, leaving a small space for one to get in. The sign said: _No Trespassing;_ but obviously Johnny took no heed as he struggled through the space. I followed after him, wincing slightly as my skin tore open when the sharp ends of the fence caught in my skin. I hid my wound from Johnny—I was sure he'd be concerned.

Then that's when I got a good look around the lot.

It wasn't magnificent. In fact, it was rather dirty. The entire lot was abandoned, dirt and leaves caked onto the concrete. It even had an eerie feel, as it led deep into the woods. But then I saw Johnny's calm face, the way his muscles seemed to relax, and how nervous he had seemed when he brought me here. He sat down on the ground, obviously expecting me to follow.

We sat together in silence, the rustling of the trees our only comfort. My eyes immediately drifted to the sky, the night having gotten even darker. The stars seemed to shine brightly in contrast with the pitch black skies. Then that's when Johnny spoke.

"I only took you here," he started, his voice soft, "because I knew you'd be the only person who'd understand." He didn't want sympathy—he wanted empathy. "Dally knows what I'm going through, and I know he cares, but he sure as hell doesn't understand."

I let him talk. He obviously needed to get this out. "When you told me about your parents," he whispered; his eyes were already stinging, "I couldn't believe it. And then I knew that you were the person I had to bring here. This place," he gestured with his hands, "is the place I went to for comfort. I had nowhere to go. I was too afraid to go to the gang – I really didn't want to bother them. So I stayed here, slept in the lot. Usually I was so tired I could barely walk, since most of the bruises were fresh.

"Usually, when I saw the sky I felt better, even though it wasn't by much." Johnny was sharing his secret with me. He had known for me a rough week, yet he was willing to tell me. It made my heart warm, my shoulders shudder, and my lips tremble.

"Whenever I got hurt," I whispered, making Johnny look at me with surprise, "I would always sneak out with Evan. I knew I would get in more trouble when I came back home, but those few hours I was alone, it was worth it."

Johnny took my hand, lacing his icy cold fingers through mine. Our pulses were in sync. "I just wish… things could be different," he said sadly, lowering his eyes, eyelashes brushing against his skin. "I wish… things didn't turn out like they did."

"I wish for so many things," I agreed, squeezing his hand softly, "but I know, that if some things hadn't happened, I wouldn't have experienced the good things in life as well. I wouldn't have come to Tulsa… met _you_,"—he blushed—"or the rest of the gang."

"I'm glad you're here," Johnny said quietly.

"Me too," I admitted softly, raising my eyes upwards. "Johnny…" He looked at me. "If I told you something, do you promise you'd keep it a secret?"

"Of course," he said sincerely.

"You told me one of your secrets," I said, breathing rigidly. I didn't know what I was doing—I hadn't even planned on telling him. But Johnny was right, just as I would understand his dilemma, he would also understand my own. "So I am going to tell you one of mine."

I took a deep breath, unlacing my fingers from his grip, "When I was a little kid, I had always been afraid of getting hurt. I saw my mother get hurt, I say my father inflict the hurt. I couldn't stand pain. When my mother died, the pain passed onto me. It made me feel hollow and empty. I would do literally anything to get away, even if it meant more pain later." Tears dripped out of my eyes, "Do you want to know why I was hospitalized?"

His mouth dropped somewhat and his eyes widened, as if he had not expected this, "What… Dan, what are you talking about?"

"And do you want to know why I was such in a bad mood, Johnny?" I asked, the salty taste of the tears brushing against my mouth.

"Dan…"

"I'm going to die, Johnny… I'm going to die." I let out a soft sob as Johnny's breathing got quick, tears lining his eyes as well. "I got diagnosed with leukemia and I only have six months to live…"

"Danny," he whispered comfortingly, wrapping his arms around me. I leaned into his touch, my face pressing against his t-shirt. I knew I was dampening his shirt, but I know he didn't care as he only hugged me tighter. "I'm so sorry."

"Thank you so much, Johnny," I said, raising my head to look at him, my eyes watery. "You don't know how much I needed this."

He brushed the hair tenderly out of my face, his voice shaking, "You don't know how much _I_ needed this."

* * *

**dally**

Dallas Winston stumbled down the sidewalk, one hand clutching a beer as he scanned the streets through his hazy, blurred eyes. He was drunk—again. It couldn't be helped; especially since the entire pack of beer was just calling him. He gulped down another long sip, the burning feel long gone. Now it was a numbing sensation that seemed to make his entire body hum. He turned the corner, still looking nonchalant. Even drunk, Dally could attain the indifference that some longed for.

He had just approached the lot when he saw a muddled and unclear outline of two people. As his eyes pulled into a squint, he realized it was Johnny and Danielle. Even his drunken, miserable state, he neared the lot, wondering what they were doing here.

As his eyes cleared somewhat, the smirk from his face almost fell immediately. He saw Johnny and Danny locked in a passionate embrace, her head tilted up slightly as they were about to kiss. "Thank you so much," she whispered, "You don't know how much I need this."

Johnny swept the hair from her face, his voice unsteady, "You don't know how much I needed this."

Dally unexpectedly felt a wave of rage sweep over him. He fingers tightened their grip against his glass bottle as he turned away abruptly, not willing himself to see more. He didn't understand why he was getting so angry—Danny was his friend, right? His throat got dry and he nourished it by finishing off the bottle as he walked back towards the party. He felt even more miserable than before, and he was going to quench his need.

Buck Merrill's seemed to be louder, rowdier, and intimate than before. Dally's eyes landed on the girl he was looking for. Sylvia was sitting on the couch, her usually straight locks hot ironed to fall in small ringlets around her heart shaped face. Her lips were deliciously red as she spoke seductively to the man next to her, smiling almost softly as the man chuckled. Her matching red top fell dangerously low, giving Dally a small taste of her cleavage. He was hungry.

"Sylvia," he growled drunkenly, nearly smirking as the girl looked up immediately at hearing his voice. Her seductive smile transformed into a triumphant grin. "Come 'ere," he motioned crazily to himself, his words slurring.

She left the man, who looked disappointed, and sashayed towards him. "Dally, where were you? You just disappeared…" Her arms weaved their way around his neck, playing with the hairs of his neck.

His smoldering gaze was set on her, even making her cocky gaze falter somewhat, "… Dally?"

"Shut up," he said, cutting her off as he pressed his lips to hers.

He felt her smile as they stumbled backwards, her back hitting the wall.

**end dally**


	9. How To Save A Life

* * *

**cancer  
**

**chapter nine**_  
how to save a life_

* * *

Johnny was laughing. Darry had a twinkle in his eye. Steve was in a better mood than usual—which meant he wasn't ragging on Ponyboy. That left Ponyboy a bit surprised, almost expecting the rude comment and stunned when nothing happened. Two-Bit was still his happy-go self, reciting punch lines. But Sodapop's usual cheerfulness was still empty. His eyes were a bit more weary and his smiles were running thin. I saw Steve and Soda exchanging looks at times, which made me wonder what they were thinking.

Steve, Soda, and Two-Bit was playing cards around a small table as Johnny talked to Ponyboy. Darry was sipping at his normal cup of coffee, his fingers curling around the ends of the newspaper. I glanced at Soda from my position next to Johnny, and saw him sigh as he lost again. "You're losing your touch," Two-Bit quietly joked, an easy smile on his face.

Soda just shrugged. "I'm tired. I'm going to go to bed."

"Don't you have work today?" I asked curiously, but he just shook his head.

"Steve and I took the night shift," he answered numbly, before walking into his bedroom. The door shut with a click. Two-Bit started to fold the cards for the next game, but I looked at Steve. As if he felt my eyes on me, he looked up, raising an eyebrow when he saw me.

"Steve, can I talk to you for a sec?"

Steve looked like he had qualms about agreeing. I couldn't understand why that was. He reluctantly shrugged and got up, strolling into the kitchen. I leaned against the counter and watched him inquisitively, as he stared at the cabinet above my shoulder. He wasn't maintaining eye contact. "What do you need to talk about?" he asked finally, his words tense.

"It's about Soda," I answered tiredly, my eyes hard; "You never explained what happened before."

He was silent for a long time, the tension drawing out for a while. His only reaction was a frown that marred his face. He cleared his throat and started to stumble on his sentence, "I—I really don't know how to explain this…"

I was silent.

"Soda fell in love," Steve said finally, pressing his lips together in thought. It felt like he was reliving the tale as he narrated. "He fell in love with Sandy, one of the most beautiful girls in Tulsa. Every Greaser, every Soc, everyone wanted her. It didn't matter who they were—they wanted her."

The only thought that ran through my head was: _Did he want her? _Steve continued slowly, his eyes cloudy, "But it made sense that Soda snatched her up before anyone else…" The bitterness was easily heard. "He's easy on the eyes and he knows how to talk to the girls. But no one thought they would last. They fought a lot."

* * *

**flashback**

_Steve grabbed his jacket and keys, feeling extremely tired. He started walking towards his car—Sodapop was closing up the shop. Then they'd head out. He looked up to the sky and smiled wistfully as he noticed the full moon. He whistled a small tune as he jammed his hands into his pockets. _

_"Excuse me!" The voice seemed shrill—it rang through the entire silence of the night. Yet it felt like honey to Steve's ears as he looked up, his eyes surprised. No one should have been out so late in Tulsa. As the girl got closer, he noticed how her beauty seemed to match her voice. Her long hair was golden and wavy, nearing barley. Her eyes were the most exquisite color of turquoise, pressing onto light blue. Her lips were unrealistically pink and her cheeks were red with blush. _

_"I'm so sorry," she breathlessly apologized, her hair splaying her face. "I was on my way to my Aunt's house and all of a sudden by car just broke down—"_

_Steve shot her his most charming smile, "It's not a problem." _

_"Are you sure?" She looked past his shoulder, "It seems as if you guys are closed." _

_"I'm sure I could spend a couple extra minutes," he said suavely, feeling his heart race when her cheeks bloomed into a red color. "I can fix your car." _

_"That'd be wonderful," she said with a light, relieved sigh. "You're a real lifesaver—what's your name?" _

_"Steve Randle," he said, pulling out his keys as he shook her hand. _

_"My name's Sandy," she said sweetly, her grip strong. "It's real nice to meet you." _

_"Steve, what are you doing? We're supposed to be leaving… Darry's going to kill us—" Sodapop stopped as soon as he approached, his jaw dropping slightly at the beauty in front of him. "Sorry be rude," he said, his smile perfect. "My name's Sodapop Curtis." _

_"S-Sandy," she said, her smile slightly widening. "Just Sandy." _

_Steve looked between the two, watching as their gazes never faltered. How their eyes seemed locked—he lowered his face. He felt worse than he ever had before. _

**end flashback**

* * *

"They lasted," Steve said, shaking his head. "So long, people were wondering when they'd get married. Sodapop fell in love with Sandy more than he could have ever imagined. Even though her parents didn't approve, they continued to date, until…" Steve swallowed. "Sandy got pregnant."

My eyes widened, but Steve continued with his tale, "Sodapop was surprised, I mean, he told me he had used protection and everything. But the worst part is the baby wasn't even his." That's when I gasped, my eyes nearly bugling out of the sockets, "But Sodapop still wanted to marry. He was crazy in love with the girl, so he forgave her in a snap of a finger. But Sandy went to go live with her grandparents in Florida, leaving Sodapop heart broken."

"So that's the story," I said quietly.

"That's the story," Steve echoed, his eyes finally focused on my own. The tension had drained.

"You loved her, didn't you?" I asked calmly. Seeing Steve's confused face, "Sandy… you loved her."

Steve made a sound from the back of his throat and then glanced at the ground, his cheeks flushing. He murmured, "Is it that obvious?"

I just smiled. "That's why you were so jealous. He always got the girl that you wanted."

He looked up, opened his mouth, but then shut it. But I was sure I heard him mutter, "Maybe not this time."

* * *

**dally **

Dallas Winston flipped his cigarette box open for a moment, greedily snatching out a thin cigarette. He pulled out his lighter and flicked the flame, but hesitated briefly. _"You really shouldn't smoke…" _Danielle's words carved themselves in his head, and he groaned loudly, immediately dropping the cigarette as if it burned. He crushed it with the heel of his foot, silently mourning at the loss of a perfectly good cigarette.

Damn it.

**end dally**

* * *

The DX wasn't crowded as it usually was. It was probably because it was a night shift, and most of the girls had gone home for dinner or to see their actual boyfriends. I had joined on Steve and Sodapop as they left for the DX, feeling uncomfortable when Dally had appeared in the house. He hadn't even glanced at me when I greeted him, and felt it best to leave.

Sodapop was outside, helping a customer while Steve sat by the register, fiddling with the machine. I sat on the counter, swinging my legs, uninterested. I looked at Steve's hair—greasy in clumps, and bit my lip to hide my smile as I saw his concentrated look.

"What are you looking at?" he asked quietly, not even taking his eyes off the register to know I was looking at him. I had a feeling Steve knew when eyes were on him.

"How much grease do you use?" I asked bravely, tentatively touching his hair. "A bottle a day?"

Steve's cheeks flushed bright red though his smirk was unnaturally cool, "Something like that, Dan."

The bell jingled, causing both of our heads to turn. I pulled my hand away as I saw a girl bantering with Sodapop. Her eyes were heavily lined with makeup and she wore the most bizarre clothes. "I told you," she said firmly, popping her bubblegum, "I just want my car fixed…! Wipe that stupid grin off your face, pretty boy."

Sodapop raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Well…I—"

She turned away almost immediately, looking at Steve, "Can you please help me out here? This kid"—she glared at Soda—"is annoying the hell out of me." I stifled a laugh as Sodapop shrugged confusedly.

"No problem," Steve said, jumping over the counter. "I'll be back Dan."

The girl's green eyes suddenly flicked to my own and she stared at me for a long moment before following behind Steve. She was really pretty, though her strange clothes and odd makeup made her different than the rest.

"Well I'll be darned," Sodapop said with a light chuckle. "She didn't even look at me twice."

I smiled softly, and I heard her say from outside: "The name's Evie."

"Evie, huh?" I said to myself, a barely audible whisper, "Sounds perfect."

* * *

It had gotten dark by the time Steve had finished with Evie's car. She had a big problem with the motor, Sodapop had explained, and it would take a while. I had lightly accepted, comforting myself with a Coke and a magazine.

Finally, the two boys finished, Steve and Sodapop walking in through the door. "Please tell me you both are ready to go."

"I'll be out in a minute," Soda promised, "I just need my jacket. You both head out without me."

We walked outside, the breeze slightly cold. I turned around, walking backwards as a goofy grin was planted on my face, "So…" I started obviously. "Who was the girl from before?"

"What girl?" he mumbled as he stuffed something in his pocket. Uncaring of what it was, I pulled it out of his pant pocket, ignoring his strained glance. I read it out loud:

"Evie's number—555.1230." I turned to him, my eyes laughing, "Are you going to call her?"

Steve sighed loudly, pursing his lips together, "I don't know…"

"Why not?" I exclaimed, "She's the first girl that hasn't looked at Sodapop like he's some kind of meat! And she seemed nice…" His face was screwed up in confusion and uncertainly. "It'd be a change," I cajoled, smiling when his lips twitched.

"I guess it wouldn't do any harm," he finally answered, watching for my reaction.

I laughed, "That's the Steve I know. She's really pretty, too."

"She is… isn't she?"

I might have missed a lot of things, but I certainly didn't miss the grin that appeared on Steve's face. A grin willed with wonder, surprise, and… excitement?


	10. Angels

**

* * *

cancer**

**chapter ten**_  
angels

* * *

  
_

I twisted on the mattress, trying to find the correct position of comfort. My head was aching, and my entire body seemed to burn. I had felt fine yesterday, but today I felt so weak. I could barely move as I weakly gripped the pillow with my pale hand. I felt the door creaking, but I didn't have enough energy to look up. The mattress sunk, signaling another person's body weight, and then I felt cool hands running through my hair.

"Pony told me you weren't feeling well," the deep, soft voice said. The fingers were still rubbing against my scalp, making my eyelids droop with weariness. Darry. He released his grip, smoothing out my hair. "I brought you food."

That made me look up, my smile timid as I sat up. I knew my hair was probably in disarray and my clothes crumpled, but I paid no heed as I gratefully accepted the chicken noodle soup. My icy hands thawed from the sheer heat of the soup, and my entire body seemed to warm from the salty liquid. "Thank you," I rasped out, making Darry return the gesture with a fond smile. But anyone could see the true worry in his eyes.

He kept rubbing his thumbs over my knuckles repeatedly, his blue eyes on me as he watched me finish the rest of my soup. "Good?" he asked, which I confirmed with a light nod. He took the bowl from me, setting it on the desk before turning back to me. "I have to… talk to you about something."

"Hm?"

"I"—he breathed in deeply, then began again, "Pony, Soda, and me can't stand seeing you like this." I opened my mouth to speak, my eyes dancing with confusion but he got up, starting to pace around the room. "The entire gang has accepted you as family and we _all_ can't stand seeing you like this. You're getting sicker and weaker and – I just don't get why you don't want help…"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, my voice trembling. I truly was afraid of how Darry was reacting. "I would do anything for a treatment—"

"I'm not talking about the treatment, Dan." His voice was indescribably hard, "I'm talking about keeping this a secret to the gang." His eyes softened, albeit for a moment, "Why don't you want them to know?"

I didn't know what to say—what could I say? I bit my lip, nearly drawing blood as my gray eyes welled up with tears, "It's none of their business." My voice trembled at the end, unsuccessfully allowing a tear to drip from my eye. "And b-because if I tell them, they'd look at me differently. They'd ask me constantly if I needed help, if I was okay, if I needed to go to see the doctor…" I inhaled slowly. "Because the only feeling they'll feel for me would be sympathy."

"You've got six months," Darry said, his voice shaking. "You have to tell them."

"I can't," I said, hands quavering. "They'd all… they'd all just hurt me… and I can't deal with anymore hurt, Dar."

His hands immediately brushed my eyes, a single, lone tear dripping from his own eye. "I know. I'm sorry but we're not like your father." He ignored my cringe. "We'd never hurt you like that – you're family now. We _love_ you."

"I know," I said, turning my head, "Just give me time."

He must have known I was lying because he turned my head with his hand, looking at me sharply, "Danny."

"I will…" I assured him softly, though inside my head, I was questioning myself. "Just not now—give me time," I repeated, tilting my head up towards the ceiling for a second before connecting my eyes back with Darry's. "Please."

"Just promise you'll tell them," Darry said, his smile weary. We were both distracted with each other, we hadn't realized that the door had creaked open and someone was standing right there.

"Tell who what?" a joking voice asked, and both of us, startled, glanced up to see Two-Bit standing by the doorpost. He raised an eyebrow at our astounded expressions and straightened his slightly slouched back before smirking. His eyes stared at my slightly pale face and red eyes, as if calculating something.

"Nothing," I said immediately, pushing myself further into the pillow, almost as if trying to get away from him.

"Give us a minute," Darry said, sending a stern glance at Two-Bit. He shrugged before slamming the door behind him, and Darry turned back to me. "Promise me, Danny."

"I don't make promises," I said quietly, fingering the sheets lightly. "But I'll try."

* * *

**darry **

"What was that about?" Two-Bit questioned as Darry walked into the kitchen.

"What was what about?" Darry said numbly, barely glancing at the teen before grabbing his now-chilled cup of coffee. He had watched silently as Danny had walked out the front door, saying she needed a little time to think. With a reminder to wear her jacket, Darry had backed off. He knew that he was being a little _too_ protective, but he loved her. She was his sweetheart cousin, and she meant the world to him—just like Ponyboy and Sodapop.

Two-Bit looked at him, his smirk fading into seriousness, "Darry, something's up, and I'm going to figure out what."

Darry was too startled to realize what happened until Two-Bit walked out of the kitchen, his cool demeanor long gone. The slam of the door, the revving of an engine—those were the familiar sounds that he was used to. He sighed, placing his cup down, rubbing the side of his temple. "Shit."

**end darry**

* * *

I snuggled closer into the warmth of my sweater jacket. It was only a summer afternoon, but I felt colder than usual. My dirtied shoes crunched against the iridescent leaves, leaving me confused. I didn't know what to think anymore—I didn't know why Darry had been so strong on his opinion of me telling the gang. It wasn't that important, was it? I kicked a pebble and shivered slightly as a cool gust of wind brushed my shoulders.

I needed someone to talk to. Someone who would care.

It was almost as if my prayers were answered.

"Danielle?" The voice startled me from my musings and I looked up to see Evan walking towards me. This time he wasn't surrounded by his commanding cronies. I remembered the last time I saw him—though the memory wasn't as refreshing as I would have liked—he still looked gorgeous. His face was sharp, his features neatly outlined. His hair was curly and soft, different from the usual greased heads I saw. His eyes matched his brown hair, just a bit lighter. He was dressed neatly in a nice pair of jeans and a cardigan, his stroll sweet, hands stuffed in pockets.

In a couple seconds, he was right in front of me, a diminutive smile etched on his face. "Hi," he murmured softly, his long lashes brushing the tips of skin underneath his eyes.

"Hi," I replied softly, reciprocating a smaller version of his smile.

"We really didn't get to talk before," he said, the heels of his expensive loafers scuffing the ground. He looked nervous, and guilty I could tell. Evan had never gotten guilty when we hung out as kids. This proved what little I knew about him, and how much we had all changed.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, disregarding his comment. This was the North side, and I knew for a fact that all the Socs lived in the South side—the much wealthier side of town. The side of town with the neatly cut lawns, the pretty cars, the pretty _girls _and the luxurious clothes.

"I came to see you," he said, surprising me. He didn't even let me speak, already starting to ramble, "What happened to us, Dan? We used to be best friends… Now, we barely talk to each other. Do you even recognize us anymore?"

I rubbed my head, before pointing to his car on the side of the road. I had saw some Greasers passing it with looks of interest, "That happened. I don't recognize you like I used to—the Evan that _I_ used to know never cared about social status or clothes." And it was true—as kids, we hadn't given two shits about the social organization of the town. We had just been Evan and Danny—Danny and Evan. Now it was Greaser and Soc. "We'd talk about nothing and still have the most intoxicating conversations ever."

Evan's pupils dilated, obviously as he remembered, a reverie-type smile on his face. "I miss you, Danny."

"I miss you too," I said sincerely, "but things have changed now."

"How?" Evan asked, raising his eyebrows in incredulous disbelief. "You're the same Danny I've always known—and you could probably live with me if you really wanted to. I could ask my mom, we could everything set up. I'm sure she remembers you from before…"

"I can't leave my family, Evan," I whispered in a strained voice, keeping my eyes on the ground. "It's not right, especially with everything they've done for me."

"They're _Greasers_, Dan. Hoodlums. They're this big pack of liars, who steal and cheat—" he muttered irritably, making me wince slightly.

"They're still my family," I said, my throat closing up. "They will always be, and I love them. They're not the way you think they are, Evan." I finally glanced up to look at him, seeing his choked expression and his sad eyes. Just as he was about to speak, my legs started to wobble. I was just about to topple backwards, when he caught my arm clumsily, pulling me towards him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, searching my eyes.

I nodded sourly as my head rested tentatively against the hard planes of his sweater clad chest. "I'm just a little tired," I whispered softly. And suddenly, it felt as if this was the moment. It felt like right now was the time to tell Evan, to tell him of the news I had been struck with. My heart seemed to pump a little quicker as I held onto him a little tighter. "Can I ask you something?" I asked, not realizing we were in the middle of the street.

"Of course," he responded immediately, making me smile.

"I…" How was I supposed to tell him this? My entire body went numb and the words dried out on my tongue. "Y-you're my best friend, okay?" I had backed out of that situation too quickly. My eyes closed as I felt a couple tears drip out from them.

His grip seemed to tighten on my wrists considerably, and I felt him sigh. His heart was beating in a repetitive rhythm against his ribcage. "You're my best friend too, Danny."

I had never heard words so sweet.


	11. Keep Breathing

**

* * *

cancer**

**chapter eleven**_  
keep breathing

* * *

  
_

I didn't know how to swim. After Evan had left, leaving me with the warmth of his embrace and a promise to meet up later, I had found my way to the lake. Ratty loafers and socks off, I sat on the edge of the rock as I had before, this time without Johnny. The water brushed just the tips of my toes, before withdrawing and repeating. I enjoyed the cooling sensation. I had left the house in the morning, but it was no doubt afternoon now; hot and humid. I slipped my jacket off, and immediately goosebumps covered my skin.

Not had even ten minutes passed in silence when I heard the roaring of an engine. Fear covered me in a thin sheet as I turned my head, hearing a door slam shut. I couldn't describe the surprise I felt when I saw Dally appear into view. My entire body froze with uncertainty as our eyes met, even though it was from a far distance. I smiled at him, but it quickly faded when his cold eyes hardened even more so.

His feet crunched harshly against the cracked dirt. When he was near me, his silvery eyes shone with a ferociousness I never had seen before. We stared at each other for a silent moment, before took my shoes and threw them to me. His voice was gravelly when he spoke to me, "Get in the car." I could mutely see the beat up truck from a far distance away.

I couldn't understand why, but I felt a splash of anger run through my body. I wanted to punch his face in—for a second. I blinked, still recovering from the suddenness of it all, "No." His icy eyes narrowed into slits as he heard my answer. I pulled on my shoes and stared at him in the eye. "Now, stop acting like my father."

"I'm not acting like your father," he snapped. "Who'd want a daughter like you?"

Of course, that statement hit a chord straight to the heart. He must have seen my demeanor change as I stormed toward him, my teeth gritted together. But he didn't think I would do anything; I was just "angrily" walking towards the car. But I spun around just as I passed him, pulled my hands back, and shoved him as harshly as I could into the lake.

At first, I felt so triumphant and proud, that I smiled. But then, the smile disappeared into uneasiness as I wondered what Dally would do when he came out. And then, uneasiness morphed into fear when Dally's head didn't pop out of the water. I waited for ten seconds, before hesitantly calling his name, "Dally?" I was already pulling off my shoes. He could have gotten hurt, but I didn't think that my shove was _that_ hard.

I peered down into the water, and my mouth trembled with dread when I realized I couldn't see him. Dally had helped me when I had gotten hurt; I should return the favor. Socks still on, I slipped into the water, the coldness coating me like a block of ice. I gasped for breath, my entire body shivering. "Dally!" My voice was hoarse as I blindly searched the water, "Dally, where are you?"

My hands locked onto something firm, and I pulled it out of the water to stare at it was fuzzy eyes. A leather jacket; or more specifically, Dally's leather jacket. Oh jeez. I kept searching but went still when I felt warm hands slithering around my body and pulling me backwards. A soft mouth pressed against my neck and I felt hot air running across the nape of it. "I'm right here."

Ignoring the intimacy of the situation, I turned around and inhaled with relief. "I thought you got hurt," I said truthfully, shoving his jacket into his arms. "Why did you do that?"

Dally stayed silent, giving me a brief moment for speculation. His usually light hair looked darker when wet, but his cold eyes had dissolved somewhat. His white shirt stuck to the confines of his chest, making my ears burn with a dark blush. "You were worried, huh?" He seemed somewhat satisfied as he smirked, but it died down quickly.

He started to lean down, and I immediately assumed he was going to kiss me. But maybe, just maybe, he was just leaning into hear me better. To save myself from the embarrassment, I quickly replied, "You're my friend, after all."

He froze so abruptly, placing his forehead atop my own. "Right," he said with an almost—sad?—smile. He pulled away then, and quickly jumped up onto the dry earth. His shook his hair and pulled on his sopping wet leather jacket, patiently staring at me. "You coming?" he questioned, "Johnny and the rest of the gang will be worried."

I didn't notice his cringe when he said _Johnny_ because I was too busy realizing something: I liked Dally.

* * *

The spine of _Wuthering Heights _was breaking apart. I played with one of the strands distractedly, trying to ignore the attached couple in the corner. Dally and Sylvia. I didn't understand why he brought her here to show his affection. I'm guessing Darry didn't either, as he walked into the room with a mug of coffee in his hand. "Dally, you better stop that shit right here and now. I don't want you influencing Ponyboy or Soda, now."

Dally broke apart a couple seconds later, his gaze flicking from Darry, to me, and then to Johnny, who was reading _Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, _next to me. He rolled his eyes as he stood, pulling Sylvia up with him. He walked out the door a couple seconds later, leaving the rest of the gang to Two-Bit and Steve's usual banter.

"Ace," Two-Bit declared obliviously, yet proudly as he struck a card out on the table.

I lowered my head to my book; I tried to act like it didn't affect me at all. But inside, my entire head was reeling. I questioned myself. Why did I like Dally? He was beautiful. Not handsome, but beautiful. He was rude, uncaring and dark. But he was kind—to _me._ Didn't that matter? Was it all an act? I raised my book higher when I felt my eyes burn with tears. I didn't know what to do. I was almost a hundred percent sure that Dally didn't like me. At that thought, a tear slipped from my eye.

I wiped it quickly, and lowered my book to see Two-Bit staring straight at me. Had he been watching me the entire time? My heart raced. He raised an eyebrow questionably. "I need some air," I clarified, rubbing underneath my eye. "My eyes are itchy." I set my book on the sofa and opened the front door to sit on the porch outside. The wind was cold, but I felt strangely numb.

I wasn't even surprised when I heard the door creak. I turned to see Two-Bit shutting the door as he sat down next to me. I looked into his eyes, and saw some sort of understanding in it. But I was exactly sure _what _he understood. "Your eyes aren't itchy," he said, watching me. His lips were twisted into a sad smile as he shook his head. He tilted his head to glance up at the stars and swallowed. His apple's Adam bobbed.

"They're not," I confirmed.

He glanced at me for a second, then returned his eyes to the skies. "Then what's wrong?"

I wasn't going to tell him. I couldn't tell Two-Bit that I had feelings for the supposedly uncaring Dally. It was wrong on too many levels, especially since Dally already had a girlfriend. Maybe Two-Bit wouldn't know what to say. So I just shrugged and played with my thumbs. My eyes blurred once again, but I raised my head, pretending to stare at the stars. I was just keeping the tears in my eye. _Everything was wrong. _

We sat quietly for a long while, before Two-Bit turned to me, something different in his eyes. "You like Dally."

I turned to him, finally facing him fully. No tears had dripped out yet, but they were all gathered in my eyeball, threatening to fall. It had distorted my vision successfully, but I kept looking at Two-Bit. "Is it that obvious?" I whispered, feeling my arms shake.

Two-Bit drew me in a hug, shaking his head rapidly. "No," he said quietly. "I'm just not as stupid as you think I am."


	12. Gotta Figure This Out

**

* * *

cancer**

**chapter twelve**_  
gotta figure this out

* * *

  
_

It had started with a falling shoebox. Sodapop was at another late-shift with Steve, and Ponyboy was in the living room, watching the television. Darry was still at work, which made the Curtis house much more quiet. It had been a while since the rickety old house hadn't been occupied by the gang, and I secretly enjoyed the silence. It gave me an opportunity to actually look around and observe things.

I started with Pony's room. It was a smaller sized bedroom, with a twin bed placed against the wall. A dresser faced the opposite side, and an old, cracked mirror was on the left. The window was open, letting in the cool air, brushing the thin curtains. The bed was made, so I sat on it, looking around awkwardly. There wasn't much interesting in the room, truthfully – so there wasn't much to observe. I stood, seeing some journals, and flipped through them.

They were mostly Pony's notes from school. Nothing really interesting at all. A couple older pictures were in the drawers. A couple pencils and pens were scattered around the second drawer. It went on like this – I found two packs of Wrigley's mint-flavored gum, a half page of stamps, books, and a piggy bank that rattled with the clink of only a couple coins. I swiped a hand across the dusty surface, and smiled slightly.

I turned to the dresser, rummaging through the pairs of jeans and dress shirts. They were mostly Soda's, I realized, since Pony only wore solid colored t-shirts. I knew that Soda probably wouldn't have approved of me going through his things, but he wasn't really here now. I pushed a hand over the top of the dresser, and was surprised when I actually felt something. It was rectangular and –

My eyes grew slightly wide as it toppled off the side. I crouched down to see that it was a shoebox, and the crash had made everything in the shoebox come out. Letters littered the floor and I hurriedly collected them all and stuffing them into the shoebox. I was nearly done with putting the badly-sealed envelopes away when I spotted _Sandy_ written on one cover. Curiosity engorged me like a flame and I quickly scrambled to pull the letter out. I knew I was invading Soda's privacy, but for some reason, I _had_ to know what was in this letter.

My fingers trembled as I smoothed out the crumpled sheet of paper. It was short, the handwriting loopy and very feminine. _I love you. Always have, always will. I just can't do this. _I noticed how the some of the words were blurred, and realized it must have been a teardrop. I placed the shoebox on the top of the dresser, but took the actual letter back to the bed. I sat, staring for a long moment.

"Hey Dan, you in there?"

The doorknob rattled, and Two-Bit was in the room before I could register what was happening. I swiftly tried hiding the letter, and my guilty face alerted him somewhat. "What are you reading?" he asked, curious.

"Nothing," I said quickly, flashing a brief smile. "Did you need anything?"

"No," he said suspiciously, sitting at the edge of the bed. "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

I laughed awkwardly. "Oh, I'm fine." We sat together in an awkward silence for about a minute before Two-Bit deftly pulled the sheets back and took the envelope from my hand. He didn't even think twice about it. He hesitated when he saw the name on the cover, and then slipped the crinkled letter out. His eyes scanned it, taking a little longer than usual.

"Um…" I said quietly. Feeling the need to explain, "Soda's shoebox fell over and I just saw it—"

He interrupted me with a quick nod, and a soft, "Yeah." He shook his head, "That was Soda's girlfriend…" he started.

"Yeah, I know. Steve told me."

He looked a little surprised at that, but didn't say anything. "I didn't hear you come into the house," I said conversationally.

"I can be quiet when I want to," Two-Bit said with a cheeky grin. "Pony said it was so quiet in his room that you _had_ to be sleeping."

"You're not that quiet," I said with a laugh. "I didn't hear you come into the house. But I certainly did hear you rattling that doorknob like your life depended on it."

Then I saw something happen. A very shy, uncertain grin twisted his lips, before he turned his head away casually. "Just wanted to wake you up," he murmured, and then returned his glance to the bed sheets. We sat there for a while, before Two-Bit folded the note and put it back in the envelope. He stood up and spotted the shoebox atop the dresser. He, then, put it back in and returned to the bed. "If you want to go to sleep, you can," he said with a shrug. There was only one word to describe this moment: awkward.

"No, I think I'll stay up," I said, smiling at him. I fell back onto the sheets and patted the space next to me, "Lay down."

He complied, and I had to say his body warmth next to my own was comforting. "Look, Dan, about yesterday," he started, rubbing the palm of his hand against his forehead. Yesterday had been strange for us. When Two-Bit revealed that he knew I liked Dally, I was almost certain that he would blab. But the sincerity in his eyes told me otherwise. We had left the porch almost five minutes of serene silence, and went back into the house.

I turned to stare at him in the eye. "Two-Bit, I'm glad you were the person I talked to."

He smiled again, this time so genuine, I had to turn away to get my breath back. He wrapped a loose, friendly arm around my waist and nestled his head in the crook of my neck. "I'm tired," he murmured.

That was the last thing he said before I fell asleep.

* * *

**sodapop**

Soda hung up his jacket, before turning to see Ponyboy drowsily laying on the couch. "Hey, Pony…" Ponyboy grumbled, before looking up and squinting. "Pony, it's the middle of the afternoon. Where's Dan?"

Ponyboy groaned a little before wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "Uh… I think Danny's inside our room, sleeping. Two-Bit went in there a while ago – dunno if he's come out or not."

Soda ran a hand over his face, and Pony had to admit that Soda's gestures were getting a little more Darry-like everyday. "Alright. Well I'm just going to get some clothes from our room and take a shower. Call me if Darry comes, alright Pony?"

"You got it," he mumbled before slumping back into the couch. He didn't even turn off the television.

When Soda entered his bedroom, he had expected a lump of blankets that meant Danny was fast asleep. But instead he walked on a scene he would have never imagined – Two-Bit and Danny closely embracing, his hand looped easily over Danny's small frame, as if protecting her. Two-Bit's face was deeply placed atop the nape of her neck, his breaths repetitive. Danny was still, Pony's clothes dangling loosely from her body. Soda shook his head as he slipped off his dirty wife-beater. "Well, I didn't think it would go _that_ fast," he mumbled to himself, barely audible.

But as long as Danny was happy, he was happy too. He hadn't forgotten when she had mentioned her tiny, _miniscule_, baby crush on Two-Bit. But he quickly forgot about Danny and Two-Bit's slumber by accidentally slamming the drawer too hard.

The noise made Danny jump, and she nearly fell over the bed, had Two-Bit's arm not been there.

"Soda?" she mumbled incoherently, and Soda grinned slightly.

"Well hey there," he said, waggling an eyebrow at Danny. "How are you and _Two-Bit_ doing?" he asked, not at all keeping the suggestive tone out of his voice.

"Um," she started to blush. "It's not what it looks like," she began, her voice cracking slightly from sleep. "We just fell asleep on the same bed—"

"Yeah, yeah," he waved his hands. "That better be all it is, or I'll beat him up." He grinned as Danny laughed quietly. He shook his head, grabbing his clean clothes from the dresser. "But seriously, I'm glad you're happy."

Danny looked confused at first, but then her eyes cleared. "Oh. Thank you, Soda."

He grumbled his reply and walked out of the room, leaving Danny to glance uncomfortably at her locked position.

**end sodapop**

* * *

**two-bit**

What the _hell_ did Sodapop mean by that? _But seriously, I'm glad you're happy. _It was just like Soda's character to jump to conclusions, in his usually joking way, but what did that statement mean? He hadn't really been asleep. He had just been enjoying the fact that he was so close to Danielle. He loved her soft scent – it was so light that it was hard to smell, almost neutral. It smelled like clean soap.

Danielle was the not the perfect fit against him, truthfully. She was smaller than the girl he would have been thought to hold – big at the top, with a small waist, and long, long, legs. But Danny was small all over, with puckered lips and porcelain skin. She was incredible.

He was startled from his thoughts when Danny started tugging out of his grip. Just for fun, he tightened his lock and mumbled a little. "Aw, darn it, Two-Bit!" she groaned, pulling at his finely toned arms.

She gave up and just fell backwards onto the bed, Two-Bit's arm cushioning her. His eyes were closed as she turned to look at him. "Two-Bit," she whispered. Her breath was hot against his face. "Two-Bit?" She sighed, "How about Keith then? Will you wake up, Keith?" She shoved his shoulder slightly, and Two-Bit had to use all his instincts to suppress the smile that was coming up. "Good thing you're comfortable, Mr. Matthews." She slumped back in his arms.

He opened his eyes and glanced at the ceilings. When he felt her almost nearly going back to sleep, and felt the unbearable need to make her laugh. "Boo," he whispered in her ear, tickling her ear.

"Oh God!" she scrambled upwards, nearly clawing at his face, before backing up against the bed. Two-Bit heard the shower start to run. "What the hell was that for?" she questioned in a hiss, her palm over her heart. "That scared me to death."

"You're cute when you're scared," he said with a suggestive grin, making her frown turn upside down.

Rolling her eyes at his flirting, she laughed, "You're horrible, Two-Bit."

"Am I really?" he asked with a wink, leaning back on his arms. "Do you really think I'm that _horrible_?" He licked his lips, and he felt his face get smashed – by a pillow. "Argh!" he pulled away to see Danny nearly toppling off the bed in laughter. It was the first time he had seen her so excited and normal, he wanted to observe it. He started at her, his face cupped by his hand.

"Thanks," he said, when she had recovered.

"No problem," she said with a loopy grin.

Two-Bit suddenly had the urge to say – _I love you, Danielle. _But his lips tightened. Somehow, he had fallen. But he knew that Danny's feelings for him were only platonic, and nothing more. Besides, she was already crazy about Dally. She could _not_ know.

"We should go on a road trip," he blurted, and watched as her eyes popped out of their sockets.

"_What?_"

**end two-bit**

* * *


	13. The Saltwater Room

**

* * *

cancer**

**chapter thirteen**_  
the saltwater room

* * *

_

Two-Bit watched me with the driest eyes yet, his lips turned in a full-formed grin. I could only stare at him with a dropped jaw, my thoughts swirling. Out of all the crazy things that he could suggest, I would have never expected a road trip. That was just - ridiculous. But then again, my time was fading, and I _wanted_ to do something like that. "You heard me," Two-Bit said, watching my expression carefully. "A road trip - to Florida."

Understanding clouded me slowly at first. Was this about _Sandy?_ But I stared at the sincerity secretly embedded in Two-Bit's dark hazel eyes, and smiled almost softly. "Now why'd we do something like that? Besides, Darry would never let me go anyway." This was true. Darry, my faux-overprotective parent, would never let me venture into a new surrounding with out his presence.

"Who the hell cares about Darry, Dan?" he asked, his grin splitting his face. "This is your decision completely. At least tell me if you wanna do it." His grin was charming as it always was, and my eyes traced his greased head and long sideburns. The slight dimple in side of his cheek added to his handsome factor. Two-Bit certainly wasn't the most attractive person, but there was something natural…something indescribably pleasant about him that made your heart beat a little faster.

"Yes," I breathed, before I even knew what I was saying.

Of course, Two-Bit's eyes widened a fraction before his eyes lightened happily. "Now that's the Danny _I_ know," he said with a slap to his own thigh. He laughed loudly, robustly, starting from his toes and choking out from his lips. I rolled my eyes at the comment—he hadn't known me long. "I'll warm up Darry for you." He slipped out of the room before I could even get another word.

_Oh darn. _

* * *

Dinner at the Curtis' was awkward. Well, at least for me. It had been one of those family dinners, those rare times where we gathered at the table and feasted on Darry's cooking. But of course, Two-Bit had decided to join us to _lower_ the tension. That's what he had stated, but I highly doubted that Darry would allow me to go anywhere, especially with a hooligan like Two-Bit Matthews.

"Oh golly, Soda, ain't this runner the best thing you've tasted in years?" Two-Bit said with a loud grin, holding his chicken leg up, a bit of skin dangling from his lips.

Soda stared at him neutrally, only the faintest twitch of his lips. "I had this chicken a week ago Two-Bit, and it don't taste any different now from then." He was still quiet, but I knew he was slowly getting over Sandy's disappearance. He missed her sure, but what was there to do? _Other _than take a spontaneous trip to Florida. Now, that's something Two-Bit would do.

Two-Bit just smirked before returning to his dinner. "Gee Darry, you sure do know how to cook."

Darry stared at Two-Bit over the rim of his mug, trying to find what was wrong with him. "Why you even here, Two-Bit? Shouldn't you be out partying at Buck's?" His eyebrow was raised, and sarcasm coated his words thickly.

My tongue felt dry in my throat.

"Nah! I just wanted to spend a good ol' dinner at the Curtis'." He winked obnoxiously at me, making me flush with embarrassment. "Especially one certain Curtis."

"I'm not a Curtis," I snapped. "My name is Danielle _Logans._"

He looked at me with feigned surprise, or not-so-feigned. His eyebrow had tilted, and his mouth twitched downwards a little. But he brushed off his mistake with a slow grin, "Course, that's what I meant now."

But the table was discerningly quiet after my comment. I stared at my chicken leg, and I knew Ponyboy had shifted beside me. He murmured quietly, just so Soda and I could hear, "You're a Curtis to us, Danny. Always will be." He returned to his dinner, not before catching my gaze and looking away quick.

_I know._

After Soda had risen to go to his room, and Ponyboy had went to watch the television, Two-Bit glanced at Darry with a sneaky grin. "So Dally, me and Danny were wondering if we could ask you a question."

Darry glanced at me, and then replied, "As long as it has nothing to do with marriage, I'm good."

My chicken leg was still unfinished as Two-Bit replied with a hearty grin, "Aw, darn. Too bad, huh, Dan?" I didn't reply, making the tension coil around us. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to leave. I was the type of person who was comfortable staying in one place—not traveling. At least, not now. "We were actually," Two-Bit coughed, clearing his throat. "We were wondering if we could go somewhere together."

Darry was quick to answer, "Somewhere _where_?" His voice was stern, and his coffee mug was empty. The newspaper lay by his side.

"Somewhere," Two-Bit answered mysteriously.

"It's a big, fat _no_ if you don't tell me where," Darry said with a threatening tint in his voice. "I'll lock Danny up in her room." I glanced at him to see him staring at me with a contemplating expression. Of course, I knew he was joking.

Two-Bit heaved a sigh. "Florida."

My fork clattered to my plate and started to stand up, but Two-Bit grabbed my hand firmly and stared at me. His eyes were beseeching and his hazel eyes suddenly spoke volumes. He wanted this, not only for Sandy, but for me. To get away. To have fun. He knew something was wrong, and he wanted to help me fix it. But how do you fix something that's already broken? "Stay," he murmured.

Darry hadn't said a word between this exchange. He just watched before shaking his head with a firm toss. "No way. My Danny ain't going nowhere. She's staying here Two-Bit, and so are you." He got up, disposed of his dishes, and started scrubbing them down. I was still standing, my hand nestled between Two-Bit's. He was staring at me, a look in his eyes that screamed: _Do something. _

"It's not that big of a deal, Two-Bit," I said softly. "We don't have to go. Besides, Darry already said no."

"He's not you're father," Two-Bit snapped. Oh, I'm glad he wasn't. "You don't gotta listen to every single goddamn thing he says!"

"I don't have to listen to you either!" I said back hotly, ripping my arm away from his fingers, the heat leaving me immediately. "Darry said _no_." I stomped back to Soda's room and slumped on the pillows. I hadn't realized Soda was sitting at his desk until I glanced up.

"You want to go to Florida?" he asked curiously, a strained note in his voice. So he had heard. These walls were paper-thin.

"I do," I said with a nod. But then shook my head, "Two-Bit does. We do. I don't know. Darry said no, though. It doesn't matter. We're not going." I turned away from him when I saw him mutely nod. I stared at the wall for a second, before turning back to say something—before stopping. Soda's shoulders were shaking. He was crying and I hadn't heard him.

* * *

I hadn't mentioned the Florida trip, though Two-Bit was adamant about bringing up something nice about it whenever Darry was around. "Heard it's got real nice sun over there," he said with a cheeky grin, winking at _me_, as if I didn't now what he was doing. Anyone in the vicinity knew was he was doing.

"It's the same sun everywhere," Ponyboy had pointed out, but Two-Bit had just waved him off. It was becoming a habit.

"Come on, Darry! Don't you want me and Danny to have a little fun?" Of course, with the suggestive tilt that was _always_ laden in his voice, Darry's mouth had tightened and stress lines had appeared around his mouth.

"I don't want you having _any_ fun with my Danny, y'hear?" His strict voice was rigid, and this time Two-Bit's eyes burned. His hazel eyes went dark.

"You know that's not what he meant." Surprisingly, that was my voice, and I was staring straight at Darry. His dark brown eyes met mine, and we silently stared at each other for a long moment. "It's not fair that you're making my decisions." I had _made_ my final decision. I was going. And apparently Two-Bit was surprised, but satisfied. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and smiled happily Darry.

"You heard the girl," Two-Bit said with a charming laugh. "No more decision-making."

Darry's eyes were sharp. He certainly didn't like this. "Danny, in your current condition—"

"Please, Dar. Please." My eyes had brushed closed for a second. "Just once, could you please listen? What will one road-trip, other than cheer me up? You gotta—" I cleared my throat. "You gotta stop doing this, really." I met his eyes again to see him smiling sadly.

He shook his head, not in denial, but in surprise. "I just – I'm going to worry."

_Was that a yes? _

"And especially when you're with Two-Bit, then I have a real reason to worry—"

Wait. Is that a yes?

"—he's a worse hooligan than Steve, I mean—"

"Oh Darry!" I leaped at him and hugged him tight. "Thank you, thank you!" I smiled with a burst of excitement. I hadn't realized how much I wanted to go until Darry had said yes. And now I was exhilarated. "You are the most amazing, wonderful person I ever met—"

"Save the compliments for someone who'll listen," he muttered sourly, wandering back into the kitchen.

That left me with Two-Bit, and I suddenly smiled so wide at him, my cheeks started to ache. But I tentatively took a step forward and hugged him quick. "Thanks Two-Bit."

Something flickered in his eyes – real quick, barely discernible – before an arrogant grin twisted his lips. "Well, you know how I am," he said with a pseudo-haughty voice.

I just laughed.

* * *

Johnny just stared. He sat on the very edge of my bed as I folded a couple of shirts and pants into my suitcase. I didn't have any clothes, so Darry had spent a small amount of money and buying me _somewhat_ girlish clothes. Actually, the clothes weren't girly at all, but you could tell the clothing was_ for_ a girl. He had been watching me as I packed, and had not said a word when I announced my trip. He just stared.

I tried to awkwardly meet his caramel gaze, but quickly pulled my eyes down to my suitcase. I started to reach for a couple of books lying on the dresser, but Johnny quickly grabbed my wrist, and shook his head slowly, "You don't read on vacations, Danny." His voice was very, very quiet and small.

"I know," I said with a darkening blush. "I just was—it was for the way there." I just felt the need to defend myself.

He continued staring, no reply. He hadn't treated me differently then when I had admitted I had leukemia, but there certainly was something strange in his eyes. I stopped folding, and asked, concerned, "Johnny, what's wrong?"

He smiled almost weakly, his lips trembling. "Nah, it's nothing." He finally pulled his strong gaze away from me and stared at the floor. I hadn't started folding again, and continued to examine him. His face seemed fine, just like it had yesterday, with the wavy blackish brown hair and overly tanned skin. The fading scar was still there, and I paused at it. Had something happened with his parents?

I didn't say a word though, because it was obvious that Johnny didn't want to talk. I just took a seat right next to him, and hugged him tight. Well, that was right before Dally walked in the room.


	14. How Far We Come

**cancer**

**chapter 14**  
_how far we've come

* * *

_

"Freedom!" Two-Bit whooped as he steered the car down the street. The wind whipped through our hair as he dangerously swerved a stop sign.

"Two-Bit!" I exclaimed, gripping the arm of my seat. "You're gonna kill us!"

"That's the fun part," he grinned and nearly tipped us over as the tires squelched.

We had been driving for two hours already and Two-Bit still hadn't cooled down. All the while, I had been thinking of Dally's face as he walked in on Johnny and me.

_"The car's set," he said, his eyes narrowed. I awkwardly pulled away from Johnny. "You two together or something?" _

_I felt my heart race and I glanced over at Johnny. He was staring at the floor. "No," I answered for the both of us. "Johnny and I are best buds." _

_"Whatever you say." He sounded as if he didn't believe me. _

_And for some very strange reason, I wanted to prove him wrong. _

It was beginning to get dark and Two-Bit pulled into the parking lot of shady motel. I eyed it distrustfully. "I am beginning to fear for my life," I joked as he jumped out of the car and opened the trunk.

"No need to fear when I'm here, doll," he flirted, taking time to waggle his eyebrows at me. I wanted to blush but steeled myself and only rolled my eyes. Two-Bit always had a way of making me feel better.

He handed me my luggage, took his own, and then surprised me by intertwining our fingers. "For protection," he clarified when he saw me staring. He then pulled me behind him as he walked through the shabby doors. "Howdy," he greeted.

The old man sitting at the desk grunted. "You need a room?" he asked, glancing at our hands.

"Sure do," Two-Bit said with a friendly smile. "Me and my _girlfriend_ here need a room."

I opened my mouth to protest, outraged that he would blatantly lie to the innocent old man, but Two-Bit gave me a fierce look that shut me up. The man handed Two-Bit a set of keys and smiled, revealing his yellow and grimy teeth. "You two have a nice night." Suddenly, I realized why Two-Bit had done what he had done.

I scrambled behind my "boyfriend" as we nearly raced to the stairs. "What a creep," I heaved as I sprinted.

He laughed and unlocked the door. It revealed one crummy looking bed and a broken lamp. "How romantic," Two-Bit said, turning to look at me. He spread his arms wide. "Isn't it what you've always imagined, darling?"

I played along with his game. "Oh honey," I murmured sweetly, "It's even better!" I held up the unclean sheets with one hand and cooed. "These dirty sheets give the room such a rustic feel!"

Two-Bit let out a long chortle. "You want to shower?"

"I think you need it more," I said, playfully grimacing.

He grinned and pulled his shirt off, immediately making my throat go dry. Unlike Dally's finely sculpted muscles, Two-Bit had a very subtle, lean beauty about him. I immediately stared at the magazines sitting by the phone.

It was silent and suddenly Two-Bit was next to me, tipping my head up. "Thanks for doing this," he whispered.

"I, um, could say the same to you," I stuttered, his body heat making me uneasy.

He smiled and then continued his trip to the bathroom.

* * *

I was half asleep when Two-Bit slid into bed next to me. "The water smelled weird," he muttered into my ear. "Like dog piss."

"Ew," I said sleepily, pulling away from him.

"Just kidding," he said and dragged me back to him. I snuggled into his side. I heard his chest rumble as he sighed.

"You're warm," I mused before falling back to sleep.

* * *

"How much you want to bet this Sandy gal lives with some prissy old grandma?" Two-Bit questioned, glancing at the map before returning his attention to the road. "She's gonna probably take one look at us and slam the door right in our face."

"Maybe I should go on without you, then?" I jested and Two-Bit gave me one of his infamous smiles.

"But _baby_, you wouldn't do that to your snookums, would you?" he pouted.

"I would," I said solemnly.

There was a moment of silence before we both began to laugh. He nearly hit a car coming in the other direction before I breathed out a, "Holy shit!" and frantically pointed. He inhaled and then exhaled and tried to control his laughter.

"You always get me," he smiled. "Where does she live again?"

I repeated the address and he furrowed his eyebrows. He stopped the car and set it on park. "I guess we're here then," he said. We both looked up to see a rundown house.

"Maybe you were wrong," I said slowly.

We gathered our things and made our way up the weedy pathway. Two-Bit knocked on the front door. An older woman opened the door, but unlike Two-Bit's predictions, she hesitantly spoke. "How may I help you two?"

"We're looking for Sandy," I said.

Her curious look faded into something resigned. "Come on in. She'll be done in a moment."

The interior, unlike the exterior, was better kept. Pictures lined the walls and I recognized a couple of them as Sandy. Two-Bit slouched into one of the chairs while I continued to look around. It was a homey, in a sense, but something about it didn't seem right.

"Hi," a demure voice said.

I turned and saw Sandy there. Her stomach was round and practically bulged out of her yellow sundress. "Hi," I said shakily.

I didn't understand why I felt so nervous. But then Two-Bit was behind me, pressing a soothing hand under my elbow and calming me. "Hiya Sandy," he said.

"Who's your friend, Two-Bit?" Sandy said. She smiled at me and at that moment, I knew exactly why Soda was head over heels. She was completely gorgeous.

"Oh this old thing?" Two-Bit said, looking down at me with a little smile. "She's my girlfriend."

Oh boy.


	15. Pray

**cancer**

**chapter fifteen  
**_pray

* * *

_

"Would you two like some lemonade?" Sandy called from the kitchen. "Or maybe some cookies? Grandma made some tasty ginger snaps today and they were just wonderful." She peeked her head out, smiling daintily.

Two-Bit looked excited at the prospect. "I wouldn't mind some, how 'bout you, Dan?" He looked at me expectantly and I slowly nodded in agreement. He smiled satisfactorily. "We'll have a platter."

A couple minutes later, she was delicately placing a plateful of cookies in front us. Two-Bit immediately snatched one and bit in. I timidly took one as well. Sandy was perfect for Sodapop and I was having a hard time accepting the fact they wouldn't be together.

"Danielle, you sure are different from the usual type of girl Two-Bit likes," Sandy commented which made me pause in mid-chew.

"Am I?" I questioned, and looked at Two-Bit.

He was reaching down to grab another cookie but froze.

"Not in the bad sense," Sandy rushed to say, glancing between us both. "You're the type he'd bring home to meet ma and pa. He used to date these real busty girls that wore these _horribly_ skanky clothes. Glory, it was gruesome. I'm glad he's grown up." She flashed him a charming smile.

"I guess I just found the right gal," Two-Bit said.

A sudden thrill raced up my spine at his words.

I nibbled on my ginger snap, my ears red, before looking at Sandy. "How are you?" I asked softly which made her smile weaken. I wanted to take back my words.

"I'm okay," she responded. "Morning sickness is not fun at all. And I get these terrible cravings - one day I'll want gelato and the next I'll want jalapenos. Oh and my grandma always says-" She stopped abruptly. "Come 'ere! The baby's kicking!"

I quickly put my cookie down and stumbled over to her side. I placed my hand on her belly and stilled. A light kick was aimed right at the left side of my palm. "Oh my gosh," I said and I wanted to cry. "That's wonderful."

"Not really," she giggled. "It hurts."

Two-Bit shuffled over and hesitantly placed his palm over mine. The act was so innocent yet I held my breath. When he felt the kick, he pulled his hand away and I immediately missed the warmth.

Sandy stood and went to the corner of the room. She opened a drawer, took out a gray sock, and pulled out an envelope. "Could you give this to Soda?" she asked quietly. "It's my last letter. I feel like I haven't given him enough closure on anything. Just tell him I miss him and he's wonderful." She was assuring us but I had a feeling she was trying to convince herself.

"Ok," I said and pried it from her hands. I stuck it in my pocket.

Sandy's fingers lingered in the air. She pulled them down immediately and walked towards the kitchen. "More ginger snaps?"

* * *

"You better not be lookin'," Two-Bit said as he eased on the brake.

I innocently stared at him. "I have no idea what you're talking about." My hands twitched around the envelope.

"Mm," he murmured uncommittedly, flicking his eyes to the rearview and then pressing on the accelerator. Two-Bit was a hell of a good driver when he was sober. "Open it and I guess _I'll_ be the one who tells Soda you snooped."

"You're an ass," I said but pushed the letter away.

He flashed me a grin and then pointed with his chin, "Look, there's a carnival. You like cotton candy?"

I followed his eyes to see flashy lights and rollercoasters. It looked exciting because they had none of those down in Tulsa. "You don't have money," I replied instead.

"Money?" he scoffed. "Moneys for suckers." He parked the car and held out his hand for me to hold. "Come on."


	16. Marry You

**cancer**

**chapter sixteen  
**_marry you_

* * *

The exhilaration I felt with Two-Bit surpassed any other. I struggled to get over the fence, my clothing catching and tearing. Two-Bit held back a grin as he watched me and I repressed the urge to glare in discomfort. I finally leaped over and walked quickly in front of him.

"You did good," he said jokingly from behind me.

At my lack of response, he jogged up to me and captured our hands together. I had gotten so used to the gesture that I didn't give it a second thought as my eyes became enraptured with the scene. Bright fluorescent lights glowed against our skin and children screamed as the ferris wheel twirled them in circles.

"I'm hungry as hell," Two-Bit said, walking towards a hot dog stand.

"But we just ate at Sandy's," I protested, trying to dig my feet into the ground. I knew what was about to happen.

"I have a fast metabolism," he shrugged and approached the vender. "Hiya." He grinned easily. "Two hot dogs, please."

The vender nodded and squirted ketchup and mustard on our food before handing it to us. Two-Bit pretended to look through his pockets for his wallet. "Hey, Dan, hold my hot dog for a sec," he said. I begrudingly took it from him, preparing myself to start sprinting.

But Two-Bit utterly surprised me by pulling out a couple coins and slipping them to the vender.

I was nearly gaping as he took his hot dog back and bit into it. "What?" he mumbled, his mouth full.

My look disappeared and I smiled slowly. "I thought you said money's for suckers," I replied innocently and took a bite of my hot dog as well.

"It is," he said with a goofy grin. "It was pure luck."

* * *

When we arrived at the motel, I was exhausted. I flopped onto the creaky bed and closed my eyes.

"Tired, are ya?" Two-Bit asked.

"Sure am-" I yelped when I felt him jump onto the bed, the force of gravity forcing me to bounce. Two-Bit was chuckling and in a matter of seconds, I was too. I playfully pushed him off the bed and laughed when he toppled to the ground.

He awkwardly stood up and looked at me. "That wasn't nice."

"Life ain't fair," I mused with a long sigh. "Sucks."

"You're crazy," he said. He paused and then slipped his t-shirt his off. My eyes grazed over his body before I forced my eyes downwards.

He inhaled before falling onto the bed, nearly covering me. I groaned, "Get your fat bum off me."

"Dan, you smell so good," he sniffed.

I bit back a smile and shoved him. He pulled the sheets over us.

Minutes passed by and my eyes drowsily began to close until Two-Bit whispered, "Dan."

"Mm," I moaned angrily as I turned towards him. I opened one eyelid. Darn him, I was nearly asleep.

"Can I tell you something?" he inquired tenderly. His soft voice made me open both eyes to look at him. The moonlight glimmered through the windows and created shadows on his face.

"Sure," I agreed. I suddenly felt completely awake. Serious Two-Bit was a rare occasion and I knew something was up.

He was silent for a really long time. "I know about your cancer."

That was, sufficient to say, the last thing I expected to pass from his lips. My entire body froze and my eyes widened about a millimeter. All I could feel was my heart thumping erratically against my ribcage.

"How?" I finally replied.

"Walls are paper thin in the Curtis house," he said. "Heard you that day when you were talking to Darry. I was kinda mad you didn't tell nobody. Glory, I was mad as hell. First at you, then Dally, and finally at myself."

Surprisingly, I felt calm talking to Two-Bit about this. He hadn't treated me any differently than he had before. "Why?" I queried.

"Hell," he murmured. "I wanted to be the first person you told." He turned to look up at the ceiling, one hand splayed against his stomach. "Someone you could trust... But it all made sense. The fainting, the sickness, the loss of appetite."

I closed my eyes. "Yeah."

"You gotta tell the gang," he said. "It's not right."

"I'm gonna," I protested weakly.

"You should have done it weeks ago," he said seriously and I realized with reluctance he was right. Two-Bit had proved in these two short days that we were family.

"Darry, Soda, Pony, and Johnny already know," I said instead.

"Didn't tell your lover, Dally?" he said amusedly.

The name felt so foreign. I hadn't thought about Dally since the beginning of the trip.

"Dally's not my lover," I said and he turned on his side to raise an eyebrow. "He's not! He's too... he just doesn't make me laugh."

Dally was handsome, rugged, chisled to perfection - he acquired all the intensity that any girl would love to have. But he had never made me feel content inside or laugh until my cheeks hurt. Only Two-Bit had.

Two-Bit considered these words. "I make you laugh." It was like he read my mind. "Does that mean I'm boyfriend potential?"

"Oh shut up and go to bed," I said with a slap to his arm.

He chuckled and enclosed one arm around me. I stared at the wall across from me.

_Yes. Yes it does. _

* * *

Seeing Evie sit by Steve's side as he dealt out cards was a real surprise. I wondered how close they had gotten in my absence and I felt nothing but happy for them.

"Danny!" Ponyboy yelped, the first one to see me. Always the observational one, he was. He grabbed me by the lapels of my jacket and squeezed me tight.

"Don't kill her," Two-Bit joked dryly.

Darry walked out of the kitchen and a smile manifested itself on his lips. "Glad to see you didn't kill my girl," he said, fondly pressing his knuckles into my scalp. He punched Two-Bit in the shoulder and I grinned when he winced.

Soda sat on the couch and said a measly, "Hey."

I could see he was affected by our trip. I was about to go to talk to him when Steve ruffled my hair and wrapped his arms around me. "Dan, you missed it. Me and Eve, we're together now."

"No kidding," I said sarcastically but flashed a smile at Evie. She raised a brow. Girl's got spunk.

My eyes wafted around the room to see Dally on one couch and Johnny on the other. I frowned. I wanted to voice my concerns but didn't want the other Greasers to comment on it either, so I kept quiet. "Soda, can I talk to you?"

"Sure," he said and immediately walked into his bedroom.

I sighed and followed him. "Are you okay?" I mumbled, looking at his face. He looked tired.

"I feel miserable," he confessed. "Why's life got to be so hard?"

At that, I smiled. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the envelope. "Here." His eyes trailed over my hands and his lips parted.

"You visited her?" he croaked.

"I did," I conceded. "She was real nice to me and Two-Bit. Asked me to give you this. It was the least I could do."

He took the letter from my hands and immediately ripped it open. A photo and two pages of text lay inside. I watched as his mouth quivered slightly as he read before flicking to the photo. Sensing my curiosity, he turned the picture so I could see.

It was Soda with his arms wrapped around Sandy in the meadows behind the DX. _I'm sorry_ was written in the corner.

"God," he choked, his voice full of emotion. He pulled me into a strong hug. "Thank you."

* * *

"Guys," I said. "Guys. _Guys_." I bit my lip in frustration.

Two-Bit, from across the room, shouted, "Hell, you bums better shut up!"

The ruckus quieted. "What?" Steve complained. He was in the midst of playing Blackjack.

"I've got an announcement to make," I said. I was done playing emotional drama queen. I was going to tell them and I was going to be brave.

Ponyboy turned from his novel, _Dr. Jekyll and Hyde_, to look at me with astonishment.

"I'm sorry for not telling you guys earlier. I'm dying in six months," I said, my voice clear although my mind was buzzing. "I've got cancer."

The room was utterly silent. Even Evie looked a little frightened. Steve's face turned from confused to shocked to something indistinguishable.

"Fuck this shit," a rough voice said. It was Dally and he was storming out of the house. He slammed the door behind him.

I stared at the shut door. Suddenly, my instincts kicked in. "I'll be right back!" I called and scrambled out the door behind him.

It was pouring rain in buckets. I cursed my terrible timing - should have picked a sunny day to do this. I saw Dally's leather jacket clearly.

"Why are you so mad!" I shouted from the corner. He stopped his march but didn't turn around. "Do you hate the fact that I didn't tell you about my cancer or do you hate the fact that I have it?"

That really did it. He immediately turned around and strided towards me. "That's what you think?" he growled. "Is that what you really think?"

"Hell, Dally, I don't know what to think anymore," I said desperately.

He gripped my shoulders. "I'm mad cause..." He paused and tilted his head to kiss me. I surprised myself by moving my head.

"You've got a girlfriend," I meekly said.

"Sylvia? Sylvia don't mean nothing to me," Dally said. He leaned back down to kiss me but I wasn't giving in like that.

"Oh yeah? What about Cherry?" He looked surprised that I had remembered her name.

"Cherry... she's something," he said to himself. "But Dan, you're one of kind and I ain't gonna hide it anymore."

"Well," I stammered. "I'm in love with someone else." Thunder rumbled in the skies.

He was so close to me that I felt his entire body tense. We stood silently together for a long time. "Who?" he gritted out in question.

"That doesn't matter," I replied shakily.

He finally pulled away and took a large step backwards. The distance between us makes me breathe a sigh of relief. He grabbed his lighter from his jacket pocket and lit his cigarette. I didn't bother commenting this time. "It sure as hell does," he said.

My eyes closed and I imagined Two-Bit's laugh ringing in my ears. It came me an unexpected source of comfort. "Let's just go back to the house. Please."

"It's Johnny, ain't it?"

My eyes snapped open. "I told you that we're _just_ buds, Dally!"

He scoffed. "I doubt that." He inhaled, "Saw you two nearly ontop of each other in that crummy ole parking lot."

"What?" I asked, appalled. "Parking lot-" I froze. "Dally, that's when I told Johnny about my cancer."

Dally's eyes suddenly were on me. "What?"

"You heard me," I said.

"But... you..." He dropped his cigarette onto the ground.

"You're going to get sick," I said.

As if realizing how much it was raining, Dally slipped off his jacket and handed it to me. "Here, kid."

I took it hesitantly and put it over my head.

"So, you're telling me you told Johnny before everybody else?" His words caused me to look up angrily but his smile difused it all. "Just kidding."

"I'm sorry, Dally," I said. "Friends?"

I never thought I'd be refusing Dally's affections. But in my mind, there was only one guy that came to mind. Dally shook his head and smiled a little. "Friends."

**A/N: **The more reviews, the faster the updates. Let's try to get to 250, guys! I've got the next couple chapters planned out for you guys. Not much more left, though. I'm guessing about 17-20 chapters, without a sequel. Please review, it will make my night!


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